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You know you're getting old when you start appreciating speed bumps. It's not about slowing down for safety; it's about avoiding a potential chiropractic bill. Who needs a massage chair when you have a pothole-ridden road with surprise speed bumps?
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Speed bumps are like road hickeys – they leave a mark if you don't navigate them carefully. It's like the street is saying, "If you can't handle me at my bumpiest, you don't deserve me at my smoothest.
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I hit a speed bump so aggressive the other day; I swear it knocked loose some childhood memories. I had a sudden urge to play with Legos and eat fruit snacks. It was like my car took a detour through a time machine made of asphalt.
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Speed bumps are like the road's way of telling you to take a chill pill. It's like the asphalt is saying, "Hey, slow down, relax, enjoy the journey – and by the way, here's a little jolt to make sure you're paying attention.
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I have a theory that speed bumps are actually a secret training ground for aspiring stunt drivers. Every time you navigate one successfully, you're one step closer to being the next Hollywood action hero. Watch out, Vin Diesel – here comes the suburban speed bump specialist!
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I was driving through my neighborhood the other day and hit a speed bump so high, I think it had its own zip code. I half-expected to see a tiny toll booth and a road sign that said, "Welcome to Speed Bump City – population: your car suspension.
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You ever notice how speed bumps are like the passive-aggressive road signs? They're basically saying, "Oh, you think you're in a hurry? Let's see about that. Enjoy the unintentional car aerobics!
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Speed bumps are the road's way of telling you, "Hey, slow down, buddy!" It's like the asphalt is a concerned parent, and the speed bump is the disappointed look it gives you when you're going too fast.
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Speed bumps are like the surprise quizzes of the road. You're cruising along, minding your own business, and then – bam! – out of nowhere, you're faced with an unexpected challenge. It's the automotive pop quiz we never asked for but always get.
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