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In Soviet Russia, the light at the end of the tunnel is just another train. And that train is never on time.
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In Soviet Russia, the weather forecast is easy: "Today, it will be cold. Tomorrow, it will also be cold. Surprise, it's always cold!
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In Soviet Russia, our version of "Netflix and chill" is just sitting around and complaining about the government. Riveting stuff.
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You know you're in Soviet Russia when the phrase "rise and shine" means getting out of your bunk bed in the communal sleeping quarters. Ah, the sweet sound of collective morning grumbling.
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In Soviet Russia, they say patience is a virtue, but standing in line for bread is more like an extreme sport.
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You know you're in Soviet Russia when your GPS says, "Turn left," and you end up in a potato field. Apparently, potatoes have the right of way.
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You know you're in Soviet Russia when the coffee tells you, "I don't need you; you need me.
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You know you're in Soviet Russia when the highlight of your day is finding a line with fewer people. It's like winning the lottery, but with more borscht.
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In Soviet Russia, "Let's grab a drink" means trying to find vodka, not a cozy coffee shop with fancy lattes.
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