bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever hear that saying, "snitches get stitches"? I mean, who came up with that? Was it a group of mobsters sitting around a table discussing office policies? "Alright, Frankie, we need a slogan for our anti-snitch campaign. Something catchy, you know?" But seriously, the phrase is intense. It's like a warning and a threat all rolled into one. It's not "snitches get timeouts" or "snitches get a stern talking to." No, it's stitches, like they've got a seamstress on standby.
And who are these snitch police anyway? Are they roaming the streets in undercover sewing circles, armed with needles and thread, just waiting for someone to spill the beans? "Oh, you told on Tony? Time for a quilt, my friend!"
I'm just saying, if I witness a crime, I might have to think twice about reporting it. I don't want a quilted jacket as a thank-you gift.
0
0
You know, this whole "snitches get stitches" thing got me thinking about the animal kingdom. Imagine if animals had their own version of this saying. Like, in the jungle, you witness a lion stealing some other lion's prey, and you think about telling on him. But then your monkey friend leans over and goes, "Hey, buddy, remember, snitches get itchy fleas!" Now, I don't know about you, but I'd take stitches over itchy fleas any day. I mean, at least stitches can be removed. But fleas? Those guys are freeloaders. You're scratching for weeks, and they're just having a party on your back.
So, in the animal kingdom, it's a whole different ballgame. Snitches don't just get stitches; they get an invitation to the Flea Fiesta. It's like the Met Gala for parasites.
0
0
I tried the whole "snitches get stitches" thing once, you know, as a life motto. Let me tell you, it didn't go well. I was at a restaurant, and I saw someone stealing ketchup packets. I thought, "Alright, I'm gonna be a hero and report this to the manager." So, I go up to the manager, and I'm like, "Excuse me, sir, but I saw that guy over there stealing ketchup packets." And the manager looks at me dead in the eyes and goes, "And what's it to you? Snitches get ketchup stains!"
I left that place with more ketchup on me than a hot dog at a condiment carnival. Lesson learned: sometimes, it's better to mind your own business and enjoy your fries in peace.
0
0
You ever been in a relationship and tried to pull the "snitches get stitches" card? It doesn't work. Trust me. I tried telling my girlfriend, "Honey, if you ask about the missing cookies one more time, snitches get stitches." She just looked at me and said, "Oh, really? Well, cheaters get beaters!" Suddenly, I found myself in the middle of a pillow fight, and let me tell you, feathers are not easy to clean up.
So, note to self: don't bring street wisdom into relationships. It's all fun and games until someone grabs a pillow as a weapon of mass fluffiness.
Post a Comment