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So, I decided to try my hand at sketch comedy. I thought, "How hard could it be?" Turns out, pretty darn hard. I gathered a bunch of friends, told them my brilliant ideas, and we started rehearsing. But every time we got to the punchline, it felt like we were trying to resuscitate a joke that had flatlined. I asked one of my friends, "What do you think is missing?" And he goes, "Maybe the sketch needs more... sketch?" I'm like, "What does that even mean?" Apparently, my comedy sketches were so sketchy that even the word "sketch" was confused. It's like trying to build a house of cards in a windstorm – impossible and kinda ridiculous. I'll stick to stand-up; at least I can blame my failures on myself and not some invisible force of bad sketch karma.
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So, I hired a ghostwriter recently. Not like a ghostwriter for a book; I mean an actual ghost who writes stuff for me. It seemed like a good idea at first, you know, having a supernatural muse. But let me tell you, ghosts have terrible handwriting! It's like trying to decipher ancient hieroglyphics. I'm reading through the notes, and it's all like, "Boo, ha-ha, boo." I'm like, "Can we get a translator in here?" Also, they're always missing the point. I told my ghostwriter I wanted jokes about relationships, and they gave me a list of haunted pickup lines. "Are you a ghost? Because you've been haunting my dreams." Real smooth, Casper, real smooth.
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You ever been to one of those haunted houses, thinking it's all fun and games? Well, I went to one last week, and let me tell you, it's not what I expected. You know, they've got these creepy dolls and eerie music playing in the background, and I'm thinking, "Okay, I can handle this." But then, out of nowhere, a ghost appears! Now, I'm not talking about a guy in a sheet going, "Oooh." No, I mean a full-on transparent apparition. I turn to my friend and say, "Hey, did you see that ghost?" And he looks at me dead serious and goes, "What ghost? I thought that was part of the sketch." Sketch? I signed up for a haunted house, not an episode of 'Ghost Hunters'! I need a refund. Imagine trying to explain to customer service: "Yeah, I was expecting a spooky clown, not Casper's long-lost cousin.
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You ever been ghosted? It's a real thing, and it's not just for relationships. People ghost you in the digital world too. I sent a message to a friend the other day, and I saw those three little dots indicating they were typing. Excitement builds up, and then... nothing. No message. It's like they were abducted by aliens mid-text. I'm convinced there's a ghost in everyone's phone, just playing games with us. "Oh, you thought you were getting a reply? Nah, let's leave them on 'read' and watch them suffer." Ghosts have upgraded from rattling chains to blue-ticking your messages. It's a whole new level of haunting.
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