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We really need a new scale for attractiveness. I mean, "she's so hot" is just not cutting it. We need something more accurate. Maybe a temperature gauge, like in those spicy food challenges. "Oh, she's a jalapeño level hot. No, scratch that, she's a habanero!" And then you have that one friend who's like, "Nah, man, she's a Carolina Reaper." And you're standing there thinking, "Is she a human or a ghost pepper? Do I need milk to cool down after talking to her?"
We can even have dating apps with temperature filters. Swipe right for a warm conversation, left for a potentially scalding romance. I'm just saying, it's time to bring some science into our love lives.
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So, I got a crush on this girl, and my friends are like, "Man, she's so hot!" Now, I'm not a science expert, but if she's really that hot, shouldn't we be concerned for her well-being? Like, is she running a temperature, or is she just setting the room on fire with her looks? I decided to take things seriously. I show up with a thermometer, and I'm like, "Hey, just checking if you're okay. Are you, like, 98.6 or Fahrenheit-melting-point hot?" She looked at me like I was crazy. But hey, I'm just trying to be a responsible admirer here. Safety first, right?
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You ever notice how people describe someone attractive with "she's so hot"? I mean, I get it. It's a compliment, right? But what if we took it literally? Like, is she actually radiating heat or something? Are we talking about a person or a human sauna? I met this girl the other day, and my friend was like, "Dude, she's so hot!" So, naturally, I'm thinking I'm about to meet someone with a fever or maybe she's a secret volcano enthusiast. I go up to her, and I'm like, "Hey, are you the one with the lava flow, or is that someone else?"
It turns out, she was just conventionally attractive. No eruptions or anything. I was kind of disappointed. I was ready for a date night with sunscreen and a fire extinguisher, you know?
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Dating in the summer is a whole other level of hot. It's like everyone's attractiveness gets cranked up by the sun. You walk outside, and suddenly, the entire city is a catwalk. It's a heatwave of relationships, and you're just trying not to get sunburned by rejection. And then there's the pressure. Your friends are all in relationships, and they're like, "Dude, you gotta find someone. It's cuffing season!" I'm just here wondering if I should wear SPF 50 or download a dating app with a built-in thermometer.
But hey, let's be real. Love is like a summer day. Sometimes it's scorching, sometimes it's a cool breeze, and most of the time, you're just hoping it doesn't rain on your parade. So, here's to navigating the heatwaves of relationships and finding someone who's not just hot but also cool in the right ways.
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