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What did the grape say to the other grapes in the sangria? 'Let's stick together – we make an unbeatable blend!
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Why did the sangria start a band? It wanted to be the zest percussionist around!
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I told my friend I'm writing a book about sangria. He said, 'That's a pour decision!
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What did the grape say to the orange in the sangria? 'You're such an appealing addition!
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I asked the bartender for the secret to a perfect sangria. He looked at me and said, 'The real secret is pretending you know what you're doing.' So, apparently, the key ingredient is confidence. No wonder mine always tastes like social anxiety.
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They say the key to a good sangria is balance. Well, I must have missed that memo because mine had all the balance of a cat on a unicycle—chaotic and likely to end in disaster.
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Sangria is like the mystery box of drinks. You never know what's inside, but you're pretty sure it involves regret and a questionable dance move or two.
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Sangria, the only drink that makes you feel like a sophisticated adult until you try to pronounce it correctly. 'Is it sang-ria or san-gree-ah?' I don't know, but after a few glasses, I just call it 'Sang-uh-oh-no!'
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Sangria is like the Tinder date of drinks. It starts off exciting, but halfway through, you're questioning your life choices and wondering if you can ghost on a beverage.
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I ordered sangria at a restaurant thinking it was a fruity vacation in a glass. Turns out, it was more like a stressful journey through a vineyard, complete with unexpected detours and a headache at the end.
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I tried making sangria at home once. Emphasis on 'tried.' It ended up looking less like a refreshing cocktail and more like a fruit salad that got lost on its way to brunch.
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Sangria is the only drink that can make you feel classy and clumsy at the same time. One minute you're sipping, and the next you're trying to pull off a karaoke performance of 'Bohemian Rhapsody.'
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Sangria is deceptive. It's like, 'Hey, I'm just a harmless mix of wine and fruit,' and then BAM! Next thing you know, you're confessing your childhood fears to the bartender and challenging the jukebox to a dance-off.
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