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What's Saint Peter's go-to snack? Angel food popcorn – it's heavenly delicious!
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Why did Saint Peter start a bakery in heaven? Because he wanted to make angel food cake!
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Saint Peter is so good at gardening. In heaven, he has the keys to the heavenly greens!
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Saint Peter is a great musician. He plays the harp so well, even the clouds in heaven stop to listen!
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Saint Peter loves fishing in heaven. He says the catch is always 'holy mackerel'!
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Imagine Saint Peter dealing with celebrities. 'Yes, Elvis, we know you're the King, but we don't need a daily concert in heaven. We've got angels rehearsing for the celestial choir.'
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I imagine Saint Peter scrolling through a celestial guest list. 'Let's see... Moses, check. Mother Teresa, check. Oh, Lucifer trying to sneak in again? Sorry, buddy, no VIP access for you.'
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Saint Peter's the bouncer at the gates of heaven, like the heavenly Walmart greeter. 'Welcome to paradise, folks! No ID, no entry – we've had some issues with fake halos lately.'
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Saint Peter's got a tough job. 'You died from eating too many cookies? Sorry, no entry. We can't have the heavenly buffet turning into a dessert disaster.'
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Saint Peter's the ultimate life reviewer. 'Let's see, you spent too much time on social media, got into a few Twitter wars... hmmm, purgatory it is. You need a timeout to reflect on your tweet choices.'
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I bet Saint Peter has a 'Rejected Entry Excuses' collection. 'Sorry, but 'I left my harp on Earth' isn't a valid reason for a return trip. Try playing the heavenly kazoo instead.'
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I bet Saint Peter has a 'Heaven's Most Wanted' list. 'Attention all angels, keep an eye out for Cupid—he's been shooting arrows where he shouldn't. We don't need any more celestial love triangles.'
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I heard Saint Peter has a sense of humor. 'Knock, knock.' 'Who's there?' 'Eternal salvation.' 'Eternal salvation who?' 'Eternal salvation you missed because you didn't open the door, my friend.'
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I bet Saint Peter's got a secret talent. 'Today's entertainment in heaven: Saint Peter doing the heavenly cha-cha. You didn't know he had those moves, did you?'
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