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So, the other day, my buddy comes up to me and says, "Dude, my girlfriend and I tried using a safe word, and it was a disaster." I'm like, "Oh no, what happened?" He goes, "Our safe word is 'banana.'" I'm thinking, "Okay, that's a bit fruity, but whatever floats your boat." Turns out, they were having a heated argument, and he goes, "Stop, banana!" She looks at him, confused, and says, "Did you just call me a banana? Are you calling me yellow and mushy right now?"
Now they're in couples therapy, discussing the emotional trauma caused by a misunderstood safe word. Who knew fruits could be so dangerous to relationships?
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You ever notice how choosing a safe word is like picking a wifi password? You want it to be strong, memorable, and not something your neighbor can guess. So, my girlfriend and I spent hours brainstorming the perfect safe word. We wanted something that would instantly kill the mood if things got too intense. After much deliberation, we settled on "avocado." Seemed innocent enough, right? Well, the other night, things were getting a bit steamy, and I yell, "Avocado!" She stops, looks at me, and goes, "Did you just say 'guacamole'? Is this some weird food fetish?"
Now, every time I see an avocado at the grocery store, I can't help but blush.
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I've come to the realization that choosing a safe word is a delicate process. It's like picking a password for your relationship. It should be strong, unique, and not something you use for every account. My friend, he's a relationship expert, or so he claims. He goes, "The key to a successful safe word is to make it something you would never say during an argument." So, naturally, he chose "unicorn."
I'm like, "What if you're arguing about mythical creatures? That safe word's not gonna help you." But hey, to each their own. I just hope he doesn't accidentally blurt out "unicorn" during a business meeting. That could get awkward real fast.
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You know, my wife and I recently decided to spice things up in our relationship. So, we thought, let's introduce a safe word. You know, like they do in the movies. Something fun, something exciting. So, I suggested the word "parachute." Seemed harmless enough, right? Well, the other night, we were trying out this new recipe for romance, and things were getting a bit wild. And then she yells, "parachute!" Now, I'm thinking, "Okay, this is it. This is where the magic happens." But then she looks at me and says, "I just wanted you to grab the parachute from the closet. It's on the top shelf."
Yeah, our safe word is also the name of our step stool. So much for keeping the passion alive.
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