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Let's talk about relationships for a moment. They're like rockets too, aren't they? You start off with this incredible build-up, the excitement, the countdown, and then, BOOM! Either you reach the stars together, or you crash and burn. My buddy was trying to give me relationship advice, and he's like, "Dude, you gotta ignite the spark in your relationship, make it like a rocket." So, naturally, I went out and bought a firework. Yeah, it turns out relationships and fireworks have a lot in common. They both fizzle out, and you're left wondering why you spent so much money on something that lasted 30 seconds.
And don't get me started on those romantic movie scenes where they launch lanterns into the sky. I tried that once. My neighbors weren't impressed. They were like, "Congratulations, you just turned our peaceful neighborhood into a scene from 'War of the Worlds.'
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Have you ever had that moment where you're just minding your own business, and suddenly, you realize there's a rocket in your pocket? No, not that kind of rocket. I'm talking about finding that one rogue peanut that managed to sneak into your laundry. You pull out your jeans, and there it is, nestled in the pocket like it's planning its intergalactic escape. You're thinking, "How did you get there, little guy? Were you trying to hitch a ride to the laundry dimension?" It's like a surprise space mission every time I do laundry.
And then you try to shake it out, but that peanut is determined. It's holding on for dear life, like, "I've always dreamed of exploring the vast unknown of your sock drawer." I'm over here trying to explain to a peanut that my pockets are not a SpaceX launch pad. Sorry, buddy, you're stuck on Earth with the lint tumbleweeds.
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You know, people use the phrase "It's not rocket science" to downplay something, but have you ever thought about how difficult rocket science actually is? I mean, if someone says, "It's not rocket science," chances are it's still pretty darn challenging. I decided to do a deep dive into rocket science once. Bought a book and everything. Turns out, it is rocket science! Who knew? I'm reading through it, and every page feels like a slap in the face, saying, "You thought this was easy, huh?" No wonder astronauts are the smartest people; they've basically mastered the art of strapping themselves to controlled explosions.
And then you have people who claim they understand rocket science because they watched a space documentary. Yeah, Karen, watching Neil deGrasse Tyson for an hour doesn't make you a physicist. You're not one lab experiment away from building your own rocket. Let's leave the science to the experts and stick to things we understand, like microwave popcorn.
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You ever notice how life is like a rocket sometimes? I mean, I've got this note that just says "rocket," and I'm thinking, "Great! My life's about to take off!" But then I realize it's not a metaphor; it's just a single word. I'm over here waiting for my career to skyrocket, and all I got is a paper with "rocket" written on it. I'm thinking about framing it and putting it on my wall, like, "This is the moment my dreams were reduced to a single word." My mom walks in, sees it, and says, "Oh, honey, I always knew you'd end up in space." No, Mom, it's not that kind of rocket! It's the "I have no idea what to do with this information" kind of rocket.
And then there's the frustration of trying to explain it to people. You're like, "I've got a rocket in my life," and they're like, "Whoa, you work for NASA?" No, Susan, I don't work for NASA. I work for confusion, apparently. My job title? Rocket Scientist of Ambiguity.
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