7 Retirement Jokes

One Liners

Updated on: Mar 15 2025

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I told my boss I'm retiring. He said, 'Congratulations!' Then I said, 'No, I'm just tired of working.
Retirement is the only time when you can have a 'senior moment' without anyone being concerned.
My retirement plan is to find an island, move there, and live off my savings. I call it 'Operation Pina Colada.
I told my wife I'm retiring from doing housework. She called it 'resignation.
I asked my retired friend for career advice. He said, 'Never go to work – just go to the beach.
I asked my retired friend what he does all day. He said, 'I get up late and then take a nap to recover.
My retirement plan is to find a job where you fish, and the only catch is the one you take home for dinner.

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