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Let's discuss restroom etiquette. You know, those unspoken rules that everyone seems to know and follow, but no one ever talks about? Like, if you're in a public restroom, and you accidentally make eye contact with someone through that awkward gap in the stall door, it's like you've violated the sacred code of bathroom privacy. It's not like we're having a tea party in there; can we just agree to ignore each other and pretend it never happened? And don't get me started on the "hoverers." You know, those people who refuse to make full contact with the toilet seat? They're like bathroom ninjas, doing acrobatic stunts while trying to avoid any possible germ invasion. It's a workout in there! I've considered bringing a medal to award to the person with the most impressive squatting technique.
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Have you ever noticed that time works differently in the restroom? You walk in, and suddenly, you've entered a time warp. It's like the TARDIS from Doctor Who, but with more hand soap. You think you've only been in there for a couple of minutes, and when you come out, the entire world has changed. People have aged, new trends have emerged, and you're just standing there like, "Did I miss the invention of flying cars while I was washing my hands?" And the worst part is when you're in a public restroom, and you're trying to time your exit strategically. You don't want to walk out too soon and make it seem like you had the fastest restroom visit in history, but you also don't want to wait too long and make people think you've set up a temporary residence in there. It's a delicate balance between hygiene and social perception.
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You ever notice how going to the restroom is like entering a mysterious realm? I mean, it's the only place where you can turn a corner and be faced with a life-altering decision: "Do I choose Door A or Door B?" And then there's that awkward moment when you're standing there, doing complex restroom calculus, and someone is waiting behind you, giving you the judgmental side-eye. It's like, "I'm sorry, but I need a moment to contemplate the mysteries of life and the most strategic route to the toilet paper." And can we talk about restroom signs? They're like riddles sometimes. You walk in, and there are symbols that make you feel like you're deciphering an ancient civilization's code. Is that a person wearing a skirt, or is it just a stick figure having a particularly bad hair day? I don't want to play Pictionary when I have to pee!
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Can we talk about the fancy technology in some restrooms these days? I went into a restroom the other day, and the toilet had more buttons than my TV remote. It's like, "Do I press 'flush' or 'launch to the moon'?" And the automatic faucets are supposed to be convenient, but they never seem to understand when I want the water to start or stop. It's like a game of psychic telepathy with the sink. And let's not forget about the hand dryers that sound like a jet engine taking off. You activate it, and suddenly you're in a wind tunnel trying to dry your hands while simultaneously fixing your windblown hair. I just want to leave the restroom looking presentable, not like I've survived a hurricane.
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