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Rental car return policies are like trying to decode ancient hieroglyphics. "Please return with a full tank of gas." Oh sure, let me just locate the secret gas station hidden in the rental car Bermuda Triangle.
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The rental car experience is like a roller coaster – thrilling, confusing, and by the end of it, you just want to get off and never do it again. I think I'll stick to my own car, with its familiar quirks and coffee-stained memories.
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Ever notice how rental cars have the most uncomfortable seats? I feel like I'm sitting on a combination of rocks and springs, and the lumbar support is just a mythical creature mentioned in the fine print.
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Rental car GPS systems are the backseat drivers of the technology world. Mine kept insisting I turn left into a lake because apparently, that's the fastest route according to its aquatic algorithms. Thanks, but I'll stick to the road, GPS.
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Rental car contracts are longer than most Shakespearean plays. By the time I finish reading through all the terms and conditions, I'm expecting a dramatic monologue and a tragic ending.
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Why do rental car companies bother asking if you want insurance? Of course, I want insurance! I don't trust myself with my own car, let alone someone else's rental. It's not a car; it's a potential disaster with wheels.
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Rental car keys are like puzzle pieces. They're attached to this enormous plastic tag that's bigger than my college diploma. I feel like I'm carrying around the key to Narnia, and I'm just trying not to accidentally unlock a wardrobe instead of my rental.
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Ever notice how rental cars have this unique aroma? It's not quite new car smell, more like a blend of desperation and someone's leftover fast food. I call it the scent of wanderlust with a side of regret.
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Rental car washes are a comedy in themselves. It's like they're allergic to soap and water. You return the car, and it looks like it just completed a mud wrestling tournament. At least I can say it had a good time.
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