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Snake Charmer's Dilemma
When you're a snake charmer, but your snakes only know how to play "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."
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I asked my snakes to play something that captures the essence of danger and excitement. They responded by playing the theme song to a soap opera. I guess I have the only snakes in the world that are into daytime drama.
Rattlesnake Therapist
When your therapy sessions are constantly interrupted by your snake's hissing issues.
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My rattlesnake has been attending anger management classes. Now, instead of biting people, he just passive-aggressively shakes his rattle whenever someone annoys him. It's like living with a scaly tambourine with attitude.
Rattlesnake in Love
When your pet rattlesnake develops a crush on the garden hose.
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My rattlesnake wrote a love letter to the garden hose. It said, "You make my heart rattle with joy." Now, instead of getting a love letter, I have a snake with a romantic side and a confused garden hose.
Rattlesnake Stand-Up Comedian
When your rattlesnake thinks it's funnier than you and demands its own comedy club.
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My rattlesnake insisted on having its own comedy club. It even came up with a name: "Hiss and Hers Comedy Club." Now, instead of performing at the Improv, I'm opening for my pet snake, who thinks it's the headliner.
Rattlesnake Restaurant Critic
When your rattlesnake becomes a food critic, but it only likes mice tartare.
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I tried introducing my rattlesnake to sushi, thinking it might enjoy something different. It looked at the raw fish and said, "Where are the mice? This is a scam!" Now I have a snake that refuses to eat anything that hasn't been chased around the living room.
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