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Zookeepers must have the most interesting job interviews. "So, can you feed a giraffe while explaining the theory of relativity to a group of kids? No pressure.
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I saw a lion at the zoo, just lying there and doing nothing. I thought, "That's the life." Then I realized, wait, I do that every Sunday. Am I a lion?
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The zoo is the only place where you can go to see animals and think, "Wow, that peacock has better dance moves than I do." Maybe I should take dance lessons from the flamingos.
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Ever notice how monkeys at the zoo always seem to be judging you? I'm just trying to enjoy my day, and there's a monkey giving me the side-eye like I forgot to invite him to the picnic.
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Went to the zoo the other day, and I saw a sloth. That guy was so slow, I'm pretty sure I saw him yawn in slow motion. I thought I accidentally walked into a time warp where everything moves at a sloth's pace.
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Went to the reptile exhibit, and the snake was just lying there. I thought, "You're not fooling anyone. I know you can move. I've seen the movies.
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The zoo is the only place where you can see a sign that says, "Please do not feed the animals," and think, "Do they know I brought snacks?" Maybe the animals are just on a strict diet, and I'm the food smuggler.
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You ever notice how zoo animals are like the celebrities of the animal kingdom? I mean, they just stand there behind the glass, judging us like, "Look at these humans, trying to take selfies. I've been doing it since before it was cool, with my natural stripes!
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Why do we love watching pandas so much? They're basically the Kardashians of the animal world. They eat, sleep, and occasionally do something interesting, and we can't get enough of it.
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