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My parents warned me about the dangers of alcohol. At 5, I thought it was a risk they were willing to take, offering me apple juice in a wine glass.
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My parents told me to always aim for the stars. Now I'm just sitting in the backyard with a telescope, wondering if they meant the neighbor's dog.
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I told my parents I wanted to be a baker. They said, 'That's the yeast of your problems.
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I told my parents I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed... Well, they're not laughing now!
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My parents raised me to believe in ghosts. Every time I didn't clean my room, they'd say, 'You'll scare the dust bunnies!
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My parents used to tell me to eat my vegetables. Now I make my own choices... like not eating vegetables.
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