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Ever notice how your friends are always on time for the free stuff but suddenly develop selective amnesia when it's their turn to buy a round? "Oh, sorry, I must have left my wallet in Narnia.
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Have you ever borrowed something from a friend and then spent the next week avoiding them because you forgot to return it? "Oh, yeah, I totally didn't wear your hoodie for seven days straight. It's just a new fashion trend.
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Your friends are the only people who can insult you so creatively that you end up laughing while questioning your life choices. "You're like a GPS with a lisp – always leading us to the wrong place, but at least it's entertaining.
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I love how your friends are experts at giving relationship advice, but when it comes to their own love life, it's like they're playing chess blindfolded. "Dude, you're telling me to break up, and you're on your fifth 'trial and error' relationship.
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Why is it that your friends can never keep a secret, but the moment you need them to remember something important, it's like they've got short-term memory loss? "I told you I'm allergic to peanuts, Karen, not that I secretly want a pet elephant.
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I find it amusing how your friends can turn any innocent phrase into an inside joke that only they understand. It's like being in a secret society, but instead of world domination plans, it's just funny noises and weird handshakes.
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You know your friendships are real when you can insult each other all day, but the moment someone else tries, it's World War III. "Oh, you think my friend's lazy? Hold my coffee; we're about to have a problem.
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You ever notice how your friends can magically appear when you have pizza, but when it's time to move, suddenly they've got plans? It's like, "Oh, you can't lift a couch, but you can definitely lift a pepperoni slice.
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Why is it that your friends always want to FaceTime when you look like you just survived a tornado? I'm over here in my pajamas with bedhead, and they're like, "Hey, let's video chat!" Can we bring back carrier pigeons or something?
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