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I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm a banker because I make a lot of dough!
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I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm a banker because I make a lot of dough!
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I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm a banker because I make a lot of dough!
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? He was outstanding in his field!
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I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm a banker because I make a lot of dough!
Final Destination Follies
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You ever notice how people always say, You die? I mean, talk about spoiler alerts! I don't need that kind of pressure. Imagine watching a movie, and right at the beginning, the narrator goes, Hey, just so you know, the main character dies at the end. Thanks for ruining the suspense! I was planning on being on the edge of my seat, but now I'm just sitting back, relaxed, waiting for the inevitable. Oh, look, they're about to fall off a building. Big surprise!
Haunted House Housewarming
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I moved into a new house, and my neighbor welcomed me by saying, You die. Great, I've got a haunted house. I was expecting a fruit basket, maybe a casserole, but no, I get a ghostly premonition. Now every time I hear a creak in the floorboards, I'm not sure if it's the wind or the afterlife RSVP-ing to the housewarming party.
The Immortal To-Do List
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I was making my to-do list for the week, and at the bottom, I wrote, You die. Well, that's a bit ambitious for a Monday, don't you think? I've got laundry, grocery shopping, and apparently, the ultimate life event to check off. It's like my to-do list is trolling me now. Pick up dry cleaning, pay bills, conquer the fear of death.
Life's Fine Print
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So, apparently, I die. Thanks for the heads up, Captain Obvious! It's like life comes with its own fine print, and someone just highlighted the part that says, By the way, you're not getting out of this alive. Well, I didn't read the terms and conditions of existence before signing up for this, but I guess I'm stuck with it. I hope there's a good return policy.
Yoga for the Soul
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They say, You die, as if it's breaking news. I mean, really, who do they think they are? I've decided to take a proactive approach to this whole mortality thing. I've started doing yoga for the soul. Downward-facing destiny, anyone? It's all about finding your inner peace before your outer pieces scatter.
Death by PowerPoint
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I had a meeting at work, and my boss said, You die, during the presentation. Well, that's one way to spice up the quarterly report. Forget about graphs and charts; let's just jump straight to the existential crisis slides. I guess the company's new motto is Meeting goals and meeting the Grim Reaper.
Bad News Fortune Cookie
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I opened a fortune cookie, and the slip inside said, You die. Well, that's not what I signed up for when I ordered Chinese takeout. I thought fortune cookies were supposed to tell you about love or wealth, not deliver the cold hard truth. I guess I should've seen it coming when the cookie crumbled in a particularly ominous way.
The Great Beyond Bake Sale
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I was at a bake sale, and the sweet old lady behind the counter looked at me and whispered, You die. Lady, I just wanted a cookie, not a glimpse into my future! Now I'm stuck contemplating life's mysteries while trying to decide between chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin. Talk about a tough choice.
The Grim Reaper's GPS
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My friend told me, You die, and I thought, great, now even my GPS has an attitude. Can you imagine if your GPS was like, In 500 feet, turn left. And by the way, in the grand scheme of things, you die! I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. I just want directions to the grocery store, not a existential crisis every time I make a turn.
The Unhelpful Psychic
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I went to see a psychic, and she said, You die. Well, thanks for that incredibly specific prediction. I was hoping for something a bit more useful, like winning the lottery numbers or at least the Wi-Fi password for the afterlife. Instead, I get a reminder that life's unpredictable, and I should probably start saving for that inevitable cosmic Uber ride.
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