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My wife said she's leaving me because I always exaggerate. I was so shocked, I nearly tripped over my pet unicorn.
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My wife told me I should treat her like a princess. So I married her off to a stranger to strengthen diplomatic relations.
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Why did the wife refuse to play hide-and-seek? She knew good men are hard to find!
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I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, 'Nothing would make her happier.' So, I got her nothing.
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