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Why did the wife bring a ladder to the bakery? She heard the pies were up to the roof!
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Why did the wife bring a coat to the math test? She wanted to give it some 'algebra'!
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Why did the wife bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the wife bring a pencil to bed? In case she wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why don't wives ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
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Why did the wife wear a helmet to the dinner table? She wanted to protect her 'think pea'!
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Wifes? I didn't realize marriage came with a multiple-choice question. Like, do you want the one with the sense of humor, the one who's a great cook, or the one who never leaves the bathroom? I chose 'all of the above,' and now I'm just hoping for a lifeline!
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My wife insists on making lists for everything – grocery lists, to-do lists, lists of lists. I told her, 'Honey, I can barely remember where I left my keys. Now you want me to remember the precise order of items on the shopping list? Challenge accepted.'
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I told my wife I wanted to be more spontaneous, you know, add a little excitement to our lives. So, now every time I leave the toilet seat up, I like to think of it as a surprise she didn't know she needed. You're welcome, dear!
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I asked my wife, 'What's the secret to a happy marriage?' She said, 'Just do whatever makes me happy.' So now I'm considering a career as a mind reader. It's a bit challenging, though – I can barely understand my own thoughts!
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They say opposites attract, but my wife and I take that to a whole new level. She's the organized, responsible one, and I'm the guy who still can't figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. It's like living with a domestic superhero – 'Captain Clean vs. the Laundry Laggard.'
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They say marriage is all about compromise. My wife's idea of compromise is that I get to choose where we go for dinner, as long as it's the place she had in mind.
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I tried to surprise my wife with a romantic weekend getaway. Turns out, her idea of a romantic weekend involves a cozy blanket, a bowl of popcorn, and binge-watching crime documentaries. So now I know – nothing says 'I love you' like a good murder mystery.
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My wife asked me if I could be any superhero, who would I be? I said, 'The Invisible Man.' Not because I want to save the world, but because sometimes I just want to finish a bag of chips without sharing. Marriage goals, right?
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Wifes are like WiFi – you only appreciate them when they're not working. And just like with WiFi, I have no idea how they actually function, but I'm terrified when they're not.
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