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I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said, 'Yes, doing the dishes and taking out the trash.
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My wife told me I should embrace my wrinkles. So, I introduced her to my laundry-free jeans.
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My wife says I only have two emotions: hunger and anger. She calls them 'hangry' and 'bhangry.
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I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
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My wife asked me if I ever feel like a failure. I told her, 'No, but I've failed at feeling like a failure.
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