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Joke Types
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I told my wife she should embrace her inner child. She gave me a crayon and told me to draw a better conclusion.
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Why did the wife bring a ruler to bed? To measure how long I could sleep on the couch.
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Why did the wife bring a watch to the argument? She wanted to have the time of her life.
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Why did the wife bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read it without singing, 'I will always love you.
The Mystery of the Missing Socks
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There's a mystery in our house that even Sherlock Holmes couldn't solve – the case of the missing socks. Seriously, our laundry room must be a portal to another dimension where single socks disappear to start a new life.
Bedtime Negotiations
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Every night, my wife and I engage in intense negotiations at bedtime. It's like a UN summit where we discuss important matters like the ideal room temperature, the number of pillows required for world peace, and the strategic placement of stuffed animals.
Remote Control Diplomacy 2.0
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We recently upgraded our TV, thinking it would solve our remote control disputes. Little did I know, the new smart TV comes with its own set of demands. Now, my wife and I are negotiating with Alexa to find common ground on what to watch. Even technology can't save us from domestic diplomacy!
Laundry Lessons
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My wife says I don't know how to do laundry properly. I mean, really? It's not rocket science. But apparently, there's a secret laundry code, and I'm convinced it's written in invisible ink that only wives can see.
Husband Olympics
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My wife complains that I never listen to her. I told her, Honey, if there was a Husband Olympics, I'd be a gold medalist in selective hearing. I can tune out complaints faster than an Olympic sprinter can run.
Remote Control Diplomacy
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My wife and I have diplomatic negotiations every night over the TV remote. It's like a mini United Nations session, except instead of discussing world peace, we're arguing over whether it's time for another episode of my favorite show or not.
Toothpaste Wars
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We have this ongoing war in our house – the Toothpaste Wars. Apparently, squeezing the toothpaste from the middle is a crime punishable by the silent treatment. Who knew that dental hygiene could lead to such a cold war?
Cooking Catastrophes
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My wife complains that I can't cook. I beg to differ. I've mastered the fine art of ordering takeout. It's like cooking, but without the risk of setting off the smoke alarm.
Garbage Bin Wars
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Taking out the garbage has become a battlefield in our house. I've learned that tying the bag is not just a simple task; it's an art form that requires precision, expertise, and the ability to dodge flying coffee grounds.
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