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In the bustling city of Bluffington, Joey and Tony were convinced they needed to establish their turf, but neither of them owned a lawn. Undeterred, they decided to become the first gang to protect potted plants. Their hideout? A florist's shop. Disguised as roses, they plotted their photosynthetic empire. One day, an unsuspecting florist overheard them whispering about a "blooming turf war." Panicking, she called the police, reporting that her flowers were involved in illicit activities. The ensuing raid left Joey and Tony bewildered, surrounded by officers holding watering cans instead of guns.
As the police apologized for the misunderstanding, one officer quipped, "Guess you guys are more 'budding criminals' than actual threats." And so, Joey and Tony's criminal empire wilted away, leaving them with nothing but green thumbs and a peculiar criminal record.
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In the suburban underworld of Muffledburg, Mikey and Jimmy sought to establish their reputation by creating a secret gang code. The catch? The code was entirely comprised of different fart sounds. They believed that their silent-but-deadly communication would make them the masters of discretion. However, when they attempted their first meeting, the absurdity reached new heights. Each attempt at a discrete toot turned into a cacophony of unexpected noises, leaving the gang members in fits of laughter. Passersby stared in disbelief as the duo desperately tried to regain composure while emitting a symphony of unintentional flatulence.
In the end, Mikey and Jimmy decided that their unique code was more of a comedic performance than a criminal enterprise. They embraced their newfound fame as the "Farting Fellows," securing their place in the annals of wannabe gangster history, one toot at a time.
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Once upon a time in the quaint suburb of Quirktown, two wanna-be gangsters, Vinny and Louie, decided to pull off their first heist – robbing the local bakery. Dressed in oversized trench coats and sunglasses that screamed "undercover," they approached the bakery with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop. As Vinny fumbled with his ski mask, Louie attempted to discreetly announce their intentions. "Alright, this is a stick-up! Hand over the doughnuts!" he declared with all the conviction of a soggy noodle. The cashier, however, looked more bewildered than scared and asked, "Jelly-filled or glazed?"
The hilarity ensued as the duo, flustered by the unexpected question, engaged in a debate on the superior doughnut flavor. Meanwhile, the cashier sneakily pressed the panic button. In the end, the only thing Vinny and Louie got away with was a dozen assorted doughnuts and a reputation for the world's least threatening heist.
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Meet Frankie and Benny, two ambitious gangster-wannabes with an unusual target: the local cheese shop. Armed with Swiss army knives and brie-fueled determination, they planned to steal the rarest cheeses for their exclusive black market dairy operation. As they tiptoed through the cheese aisles, they realized they were not alone. The shop owner, Mrs. Gouda, was rearranging the display and humming a cheesy tune. Panicking, Frankie and Benny dove into a giant wheel of cheddar, hoping to camouflage themselves.
Mrs. Gouda turned around, looked at the bulging cheese, and simply said, "You fellas cheddar not be causing trouble in my shop." Unbeknownst to them, their plan had some holes, much like the Swiss they were hiding in. The police arrived, and as Frankie and Benny were wheeled away, they couldn't help but think they were the "gratest" cheese bandits in history.
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Have you ever received a text message from one of these wanna be gangsters? It's like they're trying to communicate in some secret gangster code, but it just comes off as a tough emoji. Instead of using words, it's all about the symbols. They'll send you a text that looks like hieroglyphics. It's just a series of fist emojis, fire emojis, and the skull emoji for dramatic effect. I'm sitting there deciphering it like, "Is this a threat or an invitation to a barbecue?"
And the worst part is when they try to incorporate slang into their messages. You'll get a text that reads, "Sup, G? We be chillin' in da crib, keepin' it 100, ya feel?" And I'm thinking, "I feel like I need a translation app just to understand your text."
I tried to respond in kind once, and I think I accidentally challenged someone to a dance-off. My bad, I didn't realize the flexing arm emoji meant a literal flex-off.
So, note to all the wanna be gangsters out there: if you want to intimidate someone through text, maybe stick to regular words. Save the emojis for expressing your love for pizza or that adorable cat video. Because nothing says "gangster" like a well-placed heart emoji.
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So, I was thinking about these wanna be gangsters and wondering if they have their own version of a GPS. You know, like a Gangster Positioning System. Instead of saying, "Turn left in 500 feet," it's more like, "Make a hood right, and if you hit the cul-de-sac, you've gone too far, bro." I can imagine them giving directions like, "Go down Thug Avenue, take a left on Ghetto Street, and you'll find the 'Hoodlum Hideout' right next to the convenience store that doesn't sell healthy snacks."
And you know how regular GPS has that soothing voice? The gangster version would be more like, "Yo, fam, you missed the exit! Now you're in Suburbia, and your street cred just hit rock bottom."
I just hope they don't get lost in the suburbs. Imagine them trying to ask for directions from a soccer mom. "Excuse me, ma'am, can you point us to the nearest underground fight club? No? Okay, how about the closest organic farmers' market? We need to maintain our street cred with some locally sourced kale.
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You know, I was walking down the street the other day and I saw these guys who clearly thought they were some kind of tough, hardcore gangsters. I call them the "wanna be gangsters." You know the type, right? They've got the baggy pants, the oversized shirts, and they walk like they've got a permanent wedgie. I'm looking at these guys, and I'm thinking, "What are you rebelling against, laundry day?" I mean, seriously, if your pants are any lower, we're going to need a search party to find them. And they're always trying to look so intimidating, but it's hard to take someone seriously when their belt is basically a fashion accessory rather than something holding up their pants.
These guys act like they're in the middle of some epic gangster movie, but the only thing they're likely to rob is the clearance rack at the local dollar store. I saw one of them trying to throw gang signs, and I'm pretty sure he was just trying to signal for help because his pants were falling down.
I don't know, maybe they're just misunderstood fashion enthusiasts. Maybe they're not wannabe gangsters; they're just really committed to the "low-rise" trend. Either way, I'm just waiting for the day they realize that practicality beats fashion when you're trying to outrun actual trouble.
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You ever notice how these wanna be gangsters are always dressed like they're about to commit the most fashionable crime of the century? I mean, forget robbing a bank; they look like they're about to steal the spotlight at a fashion show. I saw one guy with a hoodie so big, I thought he was auditioning for the role of the Headless Horseman. And they're always wearing those sunglasses that cover half their face, as if they're trying to protect their identity while posing for the cover of "Gangster Vogue."
I imagine them planning a heist in a high-end fashion store, debating whether to steal the cash register or just grab the entire shoe section. "Listen, Tony, forget the diamonds; let's go for the designer handbags. We'll be the most stylish criminals in town!"
But you know what's really criminal? The fact that these guys probably spend more time picking out their outfits than actually honing any criminal skills. I can picture them in front of a mirror, practicing their menacing looks while struggling to keep those oversized hats from toppling over.
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How do you recognize a wannabe gangster at the gym? They're always doing illegal reps!
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Why did the wannabe gangster become a weather forecaster? He wanted to forecast a 100% chance of mischief!
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Why was the wannabe gangster terrible at hide and seek? He always stood out like a sore outlaw!
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Why did the wannabe gangster start a fashion line? He wanted to steal the show!
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Why was the wannabe gangster terrible at math? He could never count on his fingers—too many priors!
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What do you call a wannabe gangster who’s also a poet? A rhyme criminal!
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Why did the wannabe gangster open a bakery? He wanted to make some dough before making trouble!
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What did the wannabe gangster say to the calendar? ‘I’ll be a crime lord one day—mark my words!’
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Why did the wannabe gangster start a tech company? He wanted to hack into success!
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Why did the wannabe gangster become a comedian? He was arrested for making illegal puns!
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What happened to the wannabe gangster who tried to join a book club? He got booked!
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Why did the wannabe gangster become a gardener? He wanted to plant some roots before he became a thug!
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Why was the wannabe gangster always tired? He had too many felonies to count!
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What do you call a wannabe gangster who’s also a musician? A rapscallion!
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Why did the wannabe gangster fail at being a magician? He couldn’t keep his tricks under wraps!
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Why did the wannabe gangster carry a ladder? He wanted to take his crime to the next level!
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What did the wannabe gangster say to the mirror? ‘I’m arresting, aren’t I?’
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Why did the wannabe gangster join a band? He wanted to be a part of the criminal notes!
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What did the wannabe gangster say to the vegetable? ‘Lettuce be friends, or I’ll squash you!’
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How does a wannabe gangster apologize? They offer a ‘sincerely lawless’ apology!
Wannabe Gangster Office Workers
When your coworkers bring their wannabe gangster personas to the office.
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The IT guy installed a smoke machine in the break room, trying to create a mysterious atmosphere. Dude, we just wanted our lunch, not a scene from a low-budget gangster movie.
Wannabe Gangster Grandparents
When your grandparents try to relive their rebellious youth and become wannabe gangsters.
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I found my grandparents watching Scarface and taking notes. They think Al Pacino is a motivational speaker. I had to break it to them that it's not a how-to guide for retirement.
Wannabe Gangster Technology
When technology tries to be gangster, but it just ends up confusing us.
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My smart fridge tried to extort me for snacks. It displayed a message saying, "You want that midnight snack? Pay up." I just wanted some ice cream, not a protection racket.
Wannabe Gangster Parents
When your parents try to be gangster, but they're just embarrassing.
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My parents decided to get matching tattoos. They got "Thug Life" on their arms. I asked, "Thug Life? More like 'Hug Life' because you guys are embarrassing.
Wannabe Gangster Pets
When your pets try to act tough and join the wannabe gangster lifestyle.
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My goldfish started swimming in a zigzag pattern, and I thought he was getting gangster on me. Turns out, he was just practicing for the fish Olympics.
Faux Mobsters
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You know you're not a real gangster when the toughest thing you've ever done is argue with the barista about your almond milk latte.
Keyboard Warriors
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These guys talk a big game online, but in person? They'd run from a chihuahua with attitude.
Gangster's Paradise
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Wanna-be gangsters in the suburbs are just living in a Gangster's Paradise where the biggest threat is a parking ticket.
Wanna-Be Gangsters
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You ever see those guys in the club wearing sunglasses at night, thinking they're in a music video? Buddy, this isn't The Sopranos, it's The Soap Operas starring you.
Tough Talkers
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Wanna-be gangsters always talk about making moves. Bro, the only move you're making is from your mom's basement to the couch.
Bandana Bandits
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You're not fooling anyone with that bandana. The only thing you're rebelling against is your bedtime.
Bad Boys, No Toys
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These guys think they're so hardcore, but the only thing they're threatening is the line at the local ice cream truck.
Criminal Dilemmas
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Wanna-be gangsters posting about holding it down. Yeah, you're holding down the couch while binge-watching crime shows, congrats.
Thug Life?
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If your idea of gangster is blasting Taylor Swift with your windows down, then Houston, we have a problem.
Street Cred
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They wear those oversized gold chains, looking like they've just won a game of Monopoly. Newsflash: Boardwalk ain't real, and neither is your street cred.
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I saw a guy with a neck tattoo that said "thug life" but he was in line at a frozen yogurt shop. I didn't realize being a thug came with a side of sprinkles and a choice of toppings.
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I saw a group of these guys trying to breakdance in the park. It was like a scene from a bad '80s movie, complete with cardboard on the ground and questionable dance moves. I think they confused gangster with breakdancer. Easy mistake, right?
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Wanna-be gangsters are always bragging about their street cred, but the only thing they've ever hustled is probably a board game. "Yeah, I'm the Monopoly kingpin of my neighborhood." Sure, buddy, I'm terrified.
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You ever notice how there are always these wanna-be gangsters walking around like they're auditioning for a low-budget gangster movie? I saw a guy the other day trying to pull off the whole tough guy look, but he ended up looking more like a confused penguin. Dude, it's the streets, not the South Pole!
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Have you ever noticed that these tough guys always have the tiniest, yappiest dogs? I saw a guy with a Chihuahua the other day, and I thought, "Dude, if your dog is smaller than your ego, maybe you need to reevaluate your life choices.
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I was at the grocery store, and I saw a wanna-be gangster in the produce section, trying to act all tough while picking out avocados. Seriously? Are you going to threaten someone with guacamole? "Give me your wallet, or I'll make you some delicious toast toppings!
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Wanna-be gangsters love to throw around hand gestures like they're in some secret society. Dude, you're not casting spells; you're ordering a pizza. Keep those fingers in check before you accidentally summon the delivery guy.
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You know you're dealing with a wanna-be gangster when they insist on wearing sunglasses indoors. I guess they're trying to protect their eyes from the dangerous glare of fluorescent lights. Watch out, we got a real tough guy over here!
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These wanna-be gangsters are like human chameleons. One day, they're rocking baggy pants and oversized jerseys, and the next day, they've transformed into businessmen in suits. It's like they have a fashion identity crisis. Are they trying to join the mafia or the corporate world? I can't keep up!
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