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Remember the agony of forgetting to rewind your VHS tapes before returning them? It was like the unwritten law of the '90s. "Be kind, rewind." Yeah, right. I was more like "Be forgetful, pay a fine." I always wondered who came up with that slogan. Probably someone at the rental store who got tired of rewinding tapes all day. They were like, "You know what, let's guilt-trip the customers into doing our job. Slap a sticker on every tape!"
And the rewinders, those separate machines just for rewinding! What a concept. You'd have a whole ritual: eject the tape, put it in the rewinder, press play, and then wait like it was some ancient, mystical process. I miss the simplicity of those days, said no one ever.
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I heard there are still a few Blockbuster stores out there, like relics from a bygone era. It's like finding a unicorn. I imagine the employees there are like guardians of the cinematic past, the last survivors of a once-mighty empire. I bet if you ask them about Netflix, they give you a disapproving look and say, "We don't speak its name here." It's like a secret society where the membership fee is the ability to correctly rewind a VHS tape in under 30 seconds.
And you know what's crazy? People actually travel to these surviving Blockbusters for the nostalgia. It's the only place where saying, "I'm going to Blockbuster" still makes sense. I picture them walking in slow motion through the aisles, the Jurassic Park theme playing in the background. Long live the Blockbuster legacy!
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You guys remember video rental stores? Yeah, those were like ancient artifacts. I walked into one recently, and it felt like I stumbled upon a time capsule. The clerk looked at me like I was a lost explorer who just found the lost city of Atlantis. I asked him, "Do you guys have any DVDs?" He stared at me for a moment and then said, "Son, we're still rocking VHS tapes here." VHS tapes! I felt like I had stepped into a time warp. I half-expected to see a saber-toothed tiger browsing the action section.
And those late fees! I don't miss those at all. You'd return a movie a day late, and suddenly you owe them your firstborn. I'm pretty sure they funded an entire college with my late fees. I can imagine them sitting in a boardroom, saying, "How can we make more money?" and someone goes, "Late fees!" Pure evil genius.
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Choosing a movie back in the video rental days was a true test of friendship or family unity. You'd spend an eternity wandering the aisles, trying to find something everyone could agree on. It was like negotiating a peace treaty. And the categories! They had genres you didn't even know existed. "Quirky Romantic Sci-Fi Dramedy." What the heck is that? I just wanted something with explosions or talking animals. Keep it simple.
The worst part was when you finally settled on a movie, brought it home, and it turned out to be a complete dud. You'd sit there thinking, "Well, there goes two hours of my life I'll never get back." At least with streaming, you can blame the algorithm.
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