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Ever notice how Valentine's Day cards always show couples riding bicycles built for two or strolling along the beach at sunset? I want a card that features a couple binge-watching a TV series with takeout containers scattered around. Now that's true love.
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Valentine's Day cards are the only place where it's acceptable to be overly cheesy. I mean, who knew that a card could make declarations like, "Our love is like pizza – hot, cheesy, and it always leaves you wanting more." I'm just glad they didn't go with, "Our love is like a bad pun – groan-worthy but somehow enduring.
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Have you ever tried to find a Valentine's Day card for a long-term relationship? It's like searching for a unicorn. "Congratulations, you found someone who puts up with your quirks for more than a year. Here's a card that says, 'You're stuck with me.'
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Valentine's Day cards are the ultimate test of a relationship. If you both pick the same mushy card, it's meant to be. If you end up with a romantic card while your partner gets a funny one, well, welcome to the world of mixed signals.
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I bought a blank Valentine's Day card because, let's be honest, none of the pre-written messages captured the complexity of my emotions. Inside, I wrote, "You're the reason I believe in love... and the Oxford comma.
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You ever notice how choosing a Valentine's Day card is like trying to find a needle in a haystack? I spent more time in the card aisle than I did planning the actual date. "Do I want the one that says 'You're the one' or the one that says 'You mean a lot'? Decisions, decisions...
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Valentine's Day cards are basically the Hallmark version of therapy. Instead of pouring your heart out to a therapist, you pick up a card that says, "I may not always understand you, but I'm willing to pretend I do for the sake of our relationship.
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I found a Valentine's Day card that said, "You complete me." So, naturally, I gave it to my Wi-Fi router. It's been working better ever since. Who knew routers had feelings?
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Valentine's Day cards are the only place where you can express your love through a carefully chosen font. Because nothing says romance like Comic Sans.
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