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So, Toto is not just a band; it's also a brand of high-tech toilets. Have you heard of these things? They're like the James Bond of toilets. I mean, forget about just flushing; these toilets have more buttons than a spaceship. My friend got one of these Toto toilets, and he was so excited to show it off. He's like, "Dude, you've got to try my toilet. It's a game-changer." I'm thinking, "It's a toilet. How revolutionary can it be?"
I go in, and it's like I'm at a control panel of a spaceship. There are buttons for water pressure, temperature, oscillation—oh, and a built-in air dryer. It's like a spa day for your backside. I felt pampered, but also a little violated. I'm not sure I want my toilet getting to know me that well.
And then there's the seat warmer. Who needs a warm toilet seat? It's like, "Ah, nothing like sitting on a preheated throne." I want my toilet to be a little cold. Keeps me on my toes, you know?
But seriously, Toto toilets are the only toilets that make you question your entire bathroom experience. You'll never look at a regular toilet the same way again.
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You know, I have a friend who named his dog Toto. I asked him, "Why Toto?" And he goes, "Because every time I call him, I feel like I'm in 'The Wizard of Oz'." Now, that's a creative way to name your dog. But here's the problem: every time he calls for Toto, people around him start looking for a wizard or a yellow brick road. It's like, "Dude, you can't just be yelling 'Toto' in a crowded park. People expect a tornado or a flying house or something."
And imagine the confusion for the dog. One day he's chasing his tail, the next day he's on a quest to defeat the Wicked Witch of the West. That's a lot of pressure for a little pup. "Sorry, Toto, no time for fetch; we've got a witch to deal with."
But hey, at least the dog's got a cool name. It's better than the generic dog names like Max or Spot. "Toto, come here!" It's like summoning a magical canine companion.
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You guys ever notice how the band Toto is like a musical enigma? I mean, seriously, they've got that song "Africa" that's become a meme, a symbol of the internet. I don't know if they planned for that, but it's like they're the unsung heroes of the meme generation. And what's with the lyrics of "Africa"? I bet half the people singing along have no idea what they're saying. "I bless the rains down in Africa"? I'm sorry, Toto, but I've been to Africa, and the last thing they need is your blessings. They need infrastructure, education, and maybe fewer songs about rain. But hey, who am I to judge?
The other day, I saw a Toto tribute band. Yeah, a tribute band for Toto! Who would've thought that would be a thing? It's like, "Hey, we couldn't get the real Toto, so we got these guys who kinda know the chords to 'Rosanna'." They're like the cover band of cover bands.
But let's give credit where credit is due. Toto gave us the soundtrack to many questionable decisions in the '80s. You know you've made some interesting life choices when you hear the opening riff of "Hold the Line" and think, "Ah, memories.
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You know, I recently discovered that Toto is not just a band and a toilet brand; it's also a cover-up term. Like, if you mess up or accidentally spill something, just say, "Oh, I did a Toto." It's the perfect excuse. You break a glass at a party? "Oops, did a Toto." Your friend catches you tripping over your own feet? "Just pulling a Toto, no big deal." It's like a get-out-of-jail-free card for all of life's little mishaps.
And the best part is that people buy it! They're like, "Oh, okay, you did a Toto. Classic move." It's so versatile. You can Toto your way out of anything. Late for work? "Traffic was Toto-level crazy." Forgot someone's birthday? "Sorry, had a Toto moment."
I'm thinking of starting a Toto support group. You know, a place where we can all confess our Toto moments and share the absurd excuses we come up with. It's like a therapy session, but with more laughter and fewer judgmental stares.
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