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I asked the tailor if he could stitch up my shirt. He said, 'Certainly, but it may take some time.' Well, at least he understands timing!
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful comedian? Because he had outstanding timing in the field!
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Why did the procrastinator become a time traveler? Because he always wanted to meet deadlines in the past!
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Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too much time on its hands and couldn't handle it!
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I started a band called '999 Megabytes.' We haven't gotten a gig yet. It seems timing is everything, even in the digital world!
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I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. Timing is everything, especially when it comes to happy hours!
Texting Troubles
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Timing is everything, especially in texting. I accidentally sent a message to my boss that was meant for my friend. Now I have a new job title: Master of Autocorrect Excuses.
Late for Laughs
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They say timing is everything. I tested this theory by showing up late to my own surprise party. The only surprise was how many people left before I got there.
Dentist Appointment Disaster
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Timing is everything, just ask my dentist. I tried telling a knock-knock joke right when he had his hands in my mouth. The punchline? I drooled on his shoes.
Cooking Catastrophes
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Timing is everything, especially in the kitchen. I tried making instant noodles in three minutes once. Now I have a fire extinguisher with trust issues.
Doctor's Office Dilemma
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They say timing is everything. I sneezed right as the doctor was checking my reflexes. Let's just say I discovered a new symptom: involuntary karate kicks.
My Relationship's Comic Timing
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My girlfriend keeps telling me that timing is everything. She's right. I finally understood when I tried to be romantic during her favorite TV show. The only thing I caught that night was the season finale of our relationship.
Job Interview Jitters
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They say timing is everything, especially in a job interview. I asked the interviewer if they drug test right after demonstrating my impeccable moonwalk skills. Needless to say, I'm still unemployed.
Traffic Troubles
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They say timing is everything. I got stuck in traffic on the way to a comedy club once. The irony is that the only thing moving slower than the cars was the audience's laughter when I finally got on stage.
The Comedy of Chronos
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Have you ever noticed that timing is everything? I mean, I tried telling a joke once during a moment of silence at a funeral. Let's just say, my comedic timing wasn't the only thing buried that day.
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