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Timing is like that friend who's always fashionably late. I mean, I tried to be punctual once, but my alarm clock decided to hit the snooze button on my success. Now, I blame my lateness on the rebellious appliances in my life.
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Ever notice how the universe has impeccable timing when it comes to embarrassing moments? I was at a job interview, and right as I confidently walked in, my stomach decided it was the perfect time to play the drum solo from a spicy burrito I had for lunch.
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Have you ever been stuck in an elevator with someone you barely know? The awkwardness is palpable. I was in there the other day, and as we stood in silence, I thought, "Well, this is the perfect time to work on my imaginary friend impression.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge. I recently bought one that claimed to be a "time-saving miracle." I thought it would handle my taxes, but nope, it just cleaned dishes faster. Turns out, the only time it saved was mine during dishwashing.
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Timing is so crucial, especially when you're trying to avoid an incoming call. You ever panic when your phone rings, and you're like, "Quick, act busy!" So there I am, pretending to review spreadsheets like I'm in some high-stakes corporate drama, when in reality, I'm just binge-watching cat videos.
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Timing is like that unreliable GPS voice. It told me to turn left, but I turned right, and suddenly I found myself in a mysterious adventure through the scenic route of confusion. Turns out, getting lost is just a new way to discover unexpected places, like my neighbor's llama farm.
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You ever notice how timing is everything? I tried telling my cat a joke the other day, and right as I hit the punchline, he decided it was the perfect moment to knock over a vase. Talk about stealing my thunder – he's got impeccable comedic timing, but terrible manners.
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You ever notice how timing can turn a simple walk into a near-death experience? I tried to impress someone by walking confidently down the street, but just as I reached the curb, my shoelace decided it was time to tie the knot, tripping me into a graceful faceplant.
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Timing is the reason I'm an accidental morning person. I set my alarm for 7 AM, but it snoozes for an hour. So by the time I finally drag myself out of bed, it's technically 8 AM, and I can pretend I planned to seize the day.
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