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I was thinking about life in prison the other day. They say orange is the new black, but I don't think that's what they had in mind.
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Life in prison is like a never-ending team-building exercise. You're stuck with your squad, and the only way out is through good behavior – or an early parole board.
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In prison, every day is leg day. Forget about the gym; just try walking to the cafeteria and back without making any enemies.
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You know you're in prison when the highlight of your day is finding a hidden snack in your cell, like it's some kind of culinary treasure hunt.
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The prison library is like a bookstore where every book has a criminal record. "Crime and Punishment" is not just a classic novel; it's the daily special.
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I heard in prison they have a great rewards program – you commit a crime, and they reward you with a cozy cell and complimentary roommate.
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Prison food has its own Yelp reviews. "Two stars – would not recommend. Lack of variety, and the ambiance is a bit too 'concrete chic' for my taste.
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You know it's a tough crowd when the most popular guy in prison is the one who can make a killer spread using only the limited ingredients from the commissary.
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In prison, you learn to appreciate the little things, like a good cup of coffee – if you can find someone willing to trade their coffee for your carefully crafted prison currency.
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