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Prison Psychologist
Providing therapy when everyone claims to be perfectly sane
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I suggested art therapy to one inmate. He handed me a drawing and said, "It's a self-portrait." It was just a stick figure with a ball and chain. Real Picasso moment.
Prison Yoga Instructor
Teaching inner peace in the least peaceful environment
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I tried to introduce meditation, you know, to calm their minds. One guy said, "I've been meditating for years. It's called solitary confinement. Highly effective, zero stars on Yelp.
Prison Librarian
Keeping the library quiet when everyone's got stories to tell
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I asked an inmate if he wanted a book recommendation. He looked at me and said, "I'm already in the middle of this great novel called 'Life Sentence.' Highly suspenseful, terrible ending.
Prison Cafeteria Chef
Trying to create gourmet meals with limited ingredients
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The secret ingredient in all my recipes? Desperation. You know you're a chef in prison when you turn a pack of mustard into a delicacy. I call it "Yellow Gold.
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