16 Jokes For Taser

Puns

Updated on: Apr 10 2025

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What did the taser say to the outlet? 'You make my heart race!
Why did the scarecrow bring a taser to the field? To be outstanding in his field!
What do you call a taser that's also a gardener? A shocking experience!
Why did the taser apply for a job? It wanted to shock the interviewer!
I asked my friend if he had a taser. He said no, but he does have a stunning personality!
What do you call a taser that's also a musician? Shock and roll!

The Taser Diet

I found the perfect weight loss plan: the Taser Diet. Trust me, you'll lose those extra pounds real quick. Who needs the gym when you have a taser? I call it shock and awe, but mostly shock.

Taser Pranks

I pranked my friend with the taser the other day. He jumped so high; I think he set a new personal record for the high jump. But now he's convinced I'm the friend you should never trust with a surprise birthday party. Sorry, Dave, no hard feelings, just hard shocks.

Taser Tagline

I came up with a great tagline for tasers: Bringing a spark to your personal space. I'm just waiting for them to hire me as their marketing guru. Because nothing says personal security like a little shock therapy.

Shocking Revelations

You know, I recently got a taser for self-defense. Thought I'd feel all empowered, you know? But honestly, the only thing it shocked was my confidence. I mean, have you ever tried to look tough while holding a pink taser? It's like trying to be intimidating with a fluffy kitten.

Taser Tango

I decided to take a self-defense class, and they taught us how to use a taser. It's like a dance, they said. Well, let me tell you, if getting attacked is a dance, I've got two left feet and a shocking partner. I call it the Taser Tango. It's the only dance where everyone ends up on the floor.

Taser Therapy

They say laughter is the best medicine, but have they tried a taser? It's a shocking therapy session, quite literally. Forget about analyzing your childhood; just zap yourself whenever you start overthinking. It's like electroshock therapy but with more punchlines and fewer lawsuits.

Taser Troubles

I asked my ghostwriter for some shocking material, and they gave me a taser. Now I'm torn between thanking them and reevaluating our friendship. I guess that's the real shocker.

Electric Fashion

I wanted to accessorize with my new taser, you know, make it a statement piece. But apparently, tasers don't go with everything. I wore it to a wedding, and people thought I was the avant-garde bridesmaid. Note to self: electric shock and lace don't mix.

Taser Therapy, Part 2

I tried using the taser to cure my fear of public speaking. Let's just say it didn't work. Now I'm not only afraid of public speaking; I'm also afraid of tasers. It's a shockingly counterproductive therapy.

Taser Travel Tips

I took my taser on a trip recently. TSA was not impressed. Apparently, shock and awe is not an approved carry-on strategy. Who knew? Now I have to stick to boring things like pepper spray. It's just not as electrifying.

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