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Tasers are the only thing that can make a mugging turn into a dance-off. "Give me your wallet!" Zap "Alright, now show me your best moonwalk.
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I heard they're coming out with a new model of taser that also doubles as a phone charger. Finally, a device that not only defends you but also keeps your phone alive. Talk about multitasking!
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Tasers are the only thing that can turn a tough guy into a breakdancer in seconds. Seriously, I've never seen someone bust out moves like that unless they were trying to dodge electric currents.
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Tasers are like the socially awkward superhero of self-defense. "Fear not, citizens! I'll just stand over here and shoot volts at the bad guys from a safe distance.
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I overheard someone say they bought a taser for their grandma. I guess when it comes to family protection, granny doesn't mess around. "Back off, or Nana will give you a shocking experience you won't forget!
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You ever notice how tasers are like the grown-up version of playing tag? Instead of yelling "you're it," you just zap someone and watch them do the electric shuffle.
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You know you're getting old when you see a taser, and instead of thinking about self-defense, you're wondering if it comes in a compact, stylish design to match your handbag.
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You ever notice how people demonstrate tasers in self-defense classes? It's like, "Okay, pretend I'm the bad guy. Now, zap me, and let's hope my acting skills don't land me an Oscar.
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The inventor of the taser must have been really committed to finding an alternative to pepper spray. "Why just burn their eyes when you can light up their whole nervous system?
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