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You know, I was reading this article the other day about supremacists. You know, those people who think they're supremely superior in every way possible. I mean, really? I can't even decide what to have for breakfast half the time, and these guys are out there thinking they're the supreme rulers of the universe. I imagine a supremacist family dinner must be a real hoot. "Pass the salt, I am the supreme salt master!" I can't even argue with them. I tried once, and they were like, "You dare challenge the supremacy of my choice in pizza toppings?!" It's like arguing with a really aggressive GPS system.
And have you noticed that supremacists always have that look on their faces like they just smelled a fart? I think it's the constant strain of trying to maintain their supreme demeanor. If I had to act that superior all the time, my face would cramp up too.
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You know what really grinds my gears? Supremacists and their supreme pet peeves. They act like they're above all the little annoyances in life, but I bet even they get irked by a slow internet connection. I can just imagine a supremacist trying to meditate and maintain their zen while dealing with a buffering YouTube video. "I am the epitome of patience and tranquility, but if this video doesn't load in the next five seconds, heads will roll!"
And don't get me started on their road rage. "I, the supreme driver, do not appreciate your lack of turn signal usage!" Yeah, well, I don't appreciate your supreme arrogance, but you don't see me honking about it.
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You ever notice how supremacists always have these grandiose job titles? Like, "Chief Executive Supreme Overlord of Awesomeness." I mean, I want that title on my business card too, but I think my boss would have a problem with it. I tried giving myself a supreme job title once, and let me tell you, my coworkers weren't impressed. "Oh, you're the supreme master of office supplies? What does that even mean?" I thought it meant I had control over the stapler, but apparently not.
I'm thinking about adding "Supreme Comedian Extraordinaire" to my resume. Who wouldn't want to hire someone with a title like that? I'd be the laughter dictator of the office.
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Let's talk about fashion for a moment. You ever notice how supremacists always seem to have the most questionable fashion sense? I mean, I get it, they feel superior and all, but that doesn't excuse wearing socks with sandals. I'm sorry, but that's a supreme fashion faux pas. I bet if you asked a supremacist about their fashion choices, they'd say something like, "Oh, these are the socks of the supreme, and the sandals of the divine. It's a statement." Yeah, a statement that says, "I gave up on caring about what I look like."
And what's the deal with those capes they wear? I mean, do they think they're superheroes or something? "Fear not, citizens, for I am the supreme leader, here to save you from bad taste!" I think they're just trying to compensate for the fact that they can't match their socks properly.
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