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You ever notice how people throw around the term "supremacist" these days? It's like, everyone's got their own definition. I saw a guy the other day, he was a sandwich supremacist. Yeah, he was standing there at the deli like, "I only eat the supreme sandwiches, none of that basic stuff for me." I'm just trying to decide between turkey and ham, and this guy's turning lunch into a moral dilemma! But seriously, the other day, I accidentally bought organic bananas, and my roommate called me a fruit supremacist. I was like, "Dude, they were on sale, I didn't mean to start a revolution in the produce aisle."
It's gotten so bad; I think my cat is a furniture supremacist. He only sleeps on the brand new couch. I bought him a fancy cat bed, but no, he's got to claim the throne in the living room. I can imagine him telling his cat buddies, "Oh, you sleep on a regular chair? How quaint!"
So, watch out, folks. You might be a closet supremacist without even knowing it. Next thing you know, your dog will be judging you for not having a top-of-the-line doggy spa in the backyard.
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Have you ever dealt with supremacists in the tech world? I got a friend who's a total tech supremacist. You know the type—they scoff at your outdated phone like you're still communicating through carrier pigeons. "Oh, you don't have the latest model? How do you even survive?" I tried to impress him the other day. I showed him my new smartwatch, and he looked at it like I handed him a sundial. "What, does it also tell time? How innovative!" I swear, if he could, he'd probably plug himself into the Matrix and live his life in VR.
But you know what's worse? The software supremacists. The ones who insist their preferred operating system is the only way to go. I mentioned I use a PC, and suddenly I'm the IT equivalent of a caveman. "Oh, you don't use a Mac? Good luck with your little computer struggle."
I'll stick to my PC, thank you very much. At least I don't need a degree in modern art to understand the file system.
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Let's talk about food supremacists. You know those people who turn a casual conversation about snacks into a heated debate? I've got a friend who's a chip supremacist. Yeah, he judges people based on their chip choices. I pulled out a bag of plain potato chips, and he acted like I insulted his entire family. "Where's the flavor, man? You gotta go with the sriracha-infused kale chips!" And don't even get me started on the chocolate supremacists. I once offered someone a piece of milk chocolate, and they looked at me like I handed them a chocolate-covered rock. "Dark chocolate is the only chocolate worth eating. Anything else is an abomination."
I'm just here trying to enjoy my snacks in peace, and suddenly, I'm caught in the middle of a culinary war. Can't we all just agree that food is delicious, no matter the flavor profile?
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You ever notice how everyone's a selfie supremacist nowadays? You take a picture with someone, and suddenly it's a battle for the best angle. It's like a covert operation to make sure you look better than the other person. "Hold on, let me find my good side. Oh, wait, they don't exist. Every side is my good side." And then there are the selfie stick supremacists. You see them in tourist spots, extending their selfie sticks to the moon, trying to capture the perfect shot. It's like they're auditioning for a role in the next superhero movie—Selfie Man, with the power to take photos from impossible angles.
But you know what's even worse? The filter supremacists. They won't post a picture without slapping on a filter that makes them look like a lost member of the Avengers. I tried using a filter once, and suddenly I had cartoon ears and sparkles around my head. I looked like a rejected Snapchat character.
So next time you take a selfie, remember, there's probably someone out there judging your filter choices. Just embrace your natural glow, or cartoon glow, whatever floats your selfie stick.
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