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Have you ever thought about the awkward conversations superheroes must have at the tailor? "I need a suit that's aerodynamic, stylish, and can withstand explosions." I go to the tailor and just ask for something that doesn't shrink in the wash.
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Have you ever noticed that superheroes always seem to have perfect hair, even after a battle? If I fought crime, I'd come out looking like I just stuck my finger in a light socket. Maybe they have superhero hair gel – "Stronghold: For When You're Saving the Day and Still Need to Look Good.
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Let's talk about superhero alter egos. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, Tony Stark is a genius, and Clark Kent is a journalist. Meanwhile, my alter ego is just a person who can't decide what to have for dinner.
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Superheroes have these amazing gadgets and weapons, but they never seem to have a practical solution for keeping their secret identities safe. I mean, I struggle to remember my passwords, and they're out there trusting their entire lives to a pair of glasses or a mask.
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Ever notice how superheroes always find time for a dramatic entrance? If I tried that at work, bursting through the office doors with theme music blaring, HR would probably have a talk with me about appropriate workplace behavior.
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You ever notice how superheroes always manage to have these perfect, form-fitting costumes? I mean, if I put on spandex, I'd look less like a crime fighter and more like a poorly wrapped burrito.
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Superheroes must have incredible dry cleaning bills. I can't even eat spaghetti without getting it on my shirt, and they're out there battling villains without a single stain on those capes. Maybe the real superpower is an unbeatable stain remover.
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Superheroes are so committed to their jobs that they don't even take vacations. I can't even go a week without checking my work emails, and they're out there saving the world while I'm stressing about an out-of-office reply.
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I wonder if superheroes have to deal with the same kind of workplace drama we do. "Did you see Captain America didn't invite Iron Man to his party? It's like, hello, we're all on the same superhero team here!
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