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Joke Types
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My friends don't believe I can make a car out of spaghetti. They should see me drink and drive!
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Why did the grape refuse to be turned into wine? It couldn't deal with the pressure!
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Why did the bartender break up with the gin? It just couldn't handle its tonic!
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What did the grape say after it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
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Why did the tomato turn red at the party? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Strong Drinks and Weak Plans
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I ordered a strong drink at the bar, and the bartender gave me a look that said, Are you sure? It turns out, my drink was so strong that even my plans for the night got weak-kneed. I went from conquering the world to contemplating a nap on the couch. That drink was like a liquid reality check.
Strong Drinks and the Art of Decision-Making
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I had a strong drink and thought I could make great decisions. So, I decided to test this theory by ordering more strong drinks. Turns out, strong drinks don't turn you into a genius; they turn you into someone who thinks doing the Macarena is a genius move.
The Strong Drink Survival Kit
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I keep a survival kit in my bag: water, aspirin, and a strong drink. You never know when you might need to celebrate, rehydrate, or forget that you're celebrating. It's like the Swiss Army knife for questionable life choices.
The Strong Drink Challenge
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I tried to impress my friends with my ability to handle strong drinks. You know, the kind that comes with a warning label. Well, let's just say I went from the life of the party to the guy everyone is hiding the car keys from. I've never seen a group of friends so united in their decision-making.
Strong Drinks and Fitness
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I've been trying to get in shape lately, so I asked the bartender for a strong drink. He handed me a glass of water with a lemon wedge and said, Hydration is key. Apparently, my definition of a strong drink and his were on completely different fitness levels.
My Relationship with Strong Drinks
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I tried to have a serious conversation with a strong drink the other day. You know you're in trouble when your drink starts talking back. It looked at me and said, You're not really going to text your ex, are you? Well, let's just say I'm grateful for the intervention. Who knew my bartender was also a relationship counselor?
Strong Drinks and Time Travel
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I had a strong drink the other night that claimed to have time-traveling properties. I took a sip and suddenly found myself in the past, regretting my questionable fashion choices. Turns out, time travel is just a side effect of strong drinks, and fashion remorse is the ultimate consequence.
The Strong Drink Diet
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I've discovered a new diet trend – the strong drink diet. I figure if it can knock me out for a solid eight hours, that's eight hours I'm not snacking. Sure, my liver might be filing a complaint, but my waistline is on vacation.
Mixing Strong Drinks and Karaoke
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I tried singing karaoke after a couple of strong drinks. Let's just say my vocal range went from Mariah Carey to Mariah Scary. I didn't hit a single note; I hit the bartender with a plea for mercy.
The Strong Drink Dilemma
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You know, I recently started drinking those strong cocktails. They're like the superhero version of regular drinks. I had one the other night, and now I'm convinced I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Of course, in reality, I just stumbled over my own feet and crashed into the coffee table.
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