bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
So, I've been trying my hand at parenting, and let me tell you, it's like being a contestant on a reality show called "Survivor: Toddler Edition." The rules are strict, the challenges are relentless, and there's always someone crying in the background. My kid is the strictest judge I've ever had. I made them a sandwich with the wrong bread, and you would think I committed a culinary war crime. "This is not the artisanal, gluten-free, non-GMO bread I requested, Dad!"
I recently tried to implement a "strict bedtime" policy. The only problem is, my kid thinks bedtime is negotiable. They come up with the most creative excuses to stay up. "But Dad, what if I miss the latest episode of 'Paw Patrol'? It's crucial to my development!
0
0
You know, my partner recently decided to become stricter. I didn't even know that was possible! I thought strictness was like a binary thing—you either are or you aren't. But no, apparently, you can upgrade your firmware to become a deluxe, platinum edition of strict. So, now every time I leave a sock on the floor, it's like I've committed a federal offense. I come home, and there's a PowerPoint presentation on the couch about the dangers of stray socks. I'm just waiting for the day I accidentally leave the toilet seat up and get served with divorce papers.
Seems like I'm living with a strict partner and a personal life coach. I half expect them to start grading my performance around the house. "D-minus on dishwashing last night. Improvement needed. Attend mandatory training seminar ASAP!
0
0
I decided to try this new strict diet because, you know, life wasn't challenging enough. The diet is so strict that even water looks at me like, "Sorry, bro, not on the approved list." I mean, I get it; health is important. But this diet is so strict that I'm pretty sure my salad is judging me for having croutons. I asked my friend for advice, and he said, "Just eat like a caveman." So now I'm sitting in my living room, gnawing on a raw chicken leg, trying to channel my inner caveman while my neighbor calls animal control.
It's so strict that the diet app on my phone sends me passive-aggressive notifications like, "Remember, your ancestors didn't have pizza delivery." Yeah, well, they also didn't have diet apps, Karen!
0
0
Have you noticed that traffic lights have become stricter these days? It's like they went to a motivational seminar and came back all high and mighty. Red means stop, yellow means slow down, and green means go. But nowadays, I swear the green light has turned into a personal life coach. It's like, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, but please stay within the speed limit."
And don't get me started on those cameras at intersections. They're like the strict hall monitors of the road. You run a red light, and suddenly you're getting a ticket in the mail like, "We saw what you did. Consider this a warning, mister.
Post a Comment