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The moment you step into a steakhouse, your brain switches into "celebration mode." Suddenly, you're convinced that ordering dessert is necessary for the sole reason that it's Tuesday and you deserve it. Steakhouse logic: making weekdays feel like special occasions since forever.
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Ever notice how everyone at a steakhouse becomes a connoisseur as soon as the waiter hands them the wine list? You're nodding like you understand the difference between a 2015 and a 2016, but really, you're just looking for the cheapest one that doesn't taste like vinegar.
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Ever notice how the waiters at a steakhouse have mastered the art of suggestive selling? "Would you like to add a lobster tail to your steak?" they ask, as if it's the most logical thing in the world. And suddenly, you're seriously considering it, even though you came for just a steak.
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At a steakhouse, the servers always seem to have a sixth sense about refilling your water just when you're about to take a big bite. It's like they're trained in the art of perfect timing and hydration management.
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Steakhouse etiquette is a whole different ball game. You sit there contemplating whether it's polite to ask for a to-go box before you've even taken the first bite. You don't want to offend the steak by assuming it won't fit in your stomach.
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Steakhouse menus are like a Shakespearean play for meat lovers. They use phrases like "aged to perfection" and "marinated for hours" to tell a story that ends with your taste buds giving a standing ovation.
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Have you ever noticed how at a steakhouse, they dim the lights just enough to make the menu prices seem reasonable? It's like they're saying, "Let's make this steak look even better by making your wallet harder to see!
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Steakhouse portions are fascinating. You order a steak and it arrives looking like it could feed a small village, yet somehow, by the end of the meal, you're eyeing the dessert menu thinking, "Maybe a slice of cheesecake won't hurt.
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Steakhouse menus have a magical ability to make you forget your dietary restrictions. Suddenly, gluten intolerance seems like a distant memory when faced with a menu that promises the juiciest, most gluten-rich garlic bread.
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