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The Confused Vegan
Trying to comprehend the concept of a steakhouse.
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I asked the waiter, "Do you have anything without meat?" He points to the dessert menu. Dessert! Because nothing says vegan like a sugar-induced coma.
The Vegetarian at the Steakhouse
When the only green thing in the menu is the parsley garnish.
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The waiter says, "Our vegetable platter is fantastic!" Fantastic? It's just a plate of sad, steamed broccoli. I felt like I was eating the ghost of a salad.
The Health Freak
Trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle at a steakhouse.
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I asked for a side of vegetables. The waiter gives me a look like I just asked for a side of alien spaceship parts. "We have potatoes," he says. Potatoes? Might as well deep-fry my gym membership card.
The Broke College Student
When the steakhouse prices are more terrifying than student loans.
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The waiter recommended the most expensive steak on the menu. I'm like, "Do I look like I'm here to audition for the role of the Monopoly Man?
The Food Critic
When the steakhouse claims to be the best in town, but the steak is as tender as a rubber tire.
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The menu says, "Our steaks are so tender; they melt in your mouth." Melt in your mouth? More like perform a gymnastics routine in your mouth. I felt like I was chewing on a beef-flavored trampoline.
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