16 Jokes For Starboard

Puns

Updated on: Aug 01 2025

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Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the helm? Because he wanted to make sure his course was always starboard – write on target!
Why did the sailor take a nap on the right side of the ship? Because he wanted to catch some starboard ZZZs!
Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house, and he wanted to climb up to the starboard!
Why did the compass break up with the map? It couldn't find true north, and the map kept going starboard!
Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard the drinks were on the starboard, and he wanted to climb aboard!
I tried to tell a port-side joke, but it didn't have the same appeal. I guess you could say it wasn't as starboard-stopping!

Starboard and the Mystery of Lost Socks

I discovered the Starboard in my laundry room. Turns out, it's been conspiring with my washing machine to steal all my left socks. I guess even in the world of laundry, the right side always prevails!

Navigating Relationships, or My Marriage According to the Starboard

You know, my wife insists that our relationship is like a ship sailing smoothly through life. I tried to tell her it's more like the starboard side - constantly leaning to one direction and everyone on board praying we don't hit an iceberg!

Starboard, the Real MVP of IKEA Furniture

You know you've hit rock bottom when you start asking for relationship advice from your IKEA furniture. My bookshelf, which I call Starboard, has seen it all. It's probably thinking, If this guy can't assemble a bookshelf without arguments, what hope does he have in a real relationship?

Starboard and the Dreaded GPS Voice

I recently installed a GPS with the voice set to Starboard. Now, instead of soothing directions, I get commands like, In 500 feet, make a hard right, or face the consequences! I didn't know I signed up for a relationship with my GPS!

Starboard and the World of Social Media

I tried to impress my friends by using 'starboard' in a social media post. Now they all think I'm a sailor, or worse, that I'm dating a pirate. Either way, I'm stuck in a sea of misinformation!

Starboard and the Wisdom Tooth Conspiracy

I recently had a wisdom tooth removed, and the dentist told me to favor the starboard side while eating. I thought, Great, even my dentist is taking sides! Is my left side not wise enough for chewing now?

Starboard and the Great Battle of the TV Remote

There's an ongoing war in my house over the TV remote. It's like a game of tug-of-war, with my wife on one side, me on the other, and Starboard acting as the referee, leaning ever so slightly towards her. I suspect foul play!

Starboard and the Gym Dilemma

I signed up for a gym class called 'Starboard Spin.' Little did I know, it's not a workout class but a support group for people trying to find balance in their lives. The only thing spinning is my head, wondering how I ended up in this fitness therapy session!

Starboard and the Battle of the Thermostat

My thermostat must be a Starboard sympathizer. No matter how many times I set it to a comfortable temperature, it always leans a little to the colder side. I'm starting to suspect it's conspiring with my wife to turn me into a human icicle!

Starboard and the Office Politics

I overheard my boss talking about the 'starboard approach' in a meeting. I thought, Great, now even the office is taking sides. Is my desk leaning slightly to the left, or am I just being paranoid?

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