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Joke Types
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Why did the comedian take a ladder on stage? To reach the high notes in their jokes!
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Why did the comedian become a gardener? Because they could always dig up a good laugh!
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Why did the stand-up comedian break up with their microphone? It just couldn't handle their feedback issues!
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Why did the stand-up comedian bring a mirror on stage? To reflect on their jokes!
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Why did the comedian carry a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the stand-up comedian always carry a pencil? In case they needed to draw in a crowd!
Comedy, the Ultimate Diet Plan
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They say laughter burns calories. Well, after my stand-up routine, I'm pretty sure I could skip the gym and just schedule more shows. Forget keto, I'm on the stand-up comedy diet – where the only thing heavier than my jokes is my self-esteem.
The Mystery of the Mic Drop
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Mic drops are cool, right? Unless you're at an open mic night, and the comedian before you takes it literally. Now I'm just standing there like a detective in a crime scene, trying to solve the mystery of the missing microphone.
The Comedy Gym
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I decided to work out my comedic muscles. Turns out, they're more like those inflatable biceps you get at a carnival. Sure, they look impressive, but one wrong move, and everyone realizes they're just filled with hot air. So, now I'm the proud owner of metaphorical balloon animals.
Stand-Up GPS
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Trying to navigate a stand-up career is like using a GPS that only gives sarcastic directions. In 500 feet, turn left and hope your punchline isn't a dead end. It's a journey filled with unexpected detours, awkward U-turns, and the occasional audience pothole.
Late-Night Comedy or Insomnia Cure?
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I did a late-night comedy show once. The only people in the audience were insomniacs and confused owls. I'm pretty sure I cured a few cases of sleep deprivation that night. Forget laughter, I should've prescribed warm milk and a bedtime story.
Comedy, the Ultimate Relationship Test
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They say laughter is the best medicine. Well, after my last stand-up gig, I'm pretty sure my relationship with the audience needs some serious therapy. The doctor is in, and the diagnosis is: You're not funny, but your copay is hilarious.
Stand-Up or Stand Down?
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My friend said, Why don't you try stand-up comedy? Now I'm wondering if he meant stand up as in rise to the occasion or stand down as in please stop embarrassing yourself. It's like my comedy career is caught in a perpetual game of musical chairs, and the music is fading fast.
The Perils of Stand-Up
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So, I tried stand-up comedy the other day. I thought it'd be a piece of cake. Turns out, it was more like a piece of cake with a whoopee cushion hidden in it. You think you're getting laughs, but it's just gas escaping.
Jokes on Me
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They say comedy is subjective. Well, apparently, so is my understanding of what's actually funny. I told a joke, and the only thing that cracked was my self-esteem. It's like my sense of humor is on a different wavelength, and the audience is stuck in buffering.
Hecklers Anonymous
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Ever been heckled during a stand-up set? It's like going to a support group for people who just can't resist the urge to ruin your night. I'm thinking of starting Hecklers Anonymous: Hi, I'm the comedian, and this is my safe space. Please, no negativity unless it's in the form of laughter.
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