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Why did the skeleton start a band after losing its job? It wanted to drum up some new opportunities!
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Did you hear about the musician who lost his notes? He's been feeling quite flat lately!
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Why was the archaeologist upset after losing a bone? It was a marrow escape from history!
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I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later, I saw someone stepping on it. It was about time someone danced on it!
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Why was the map upset after losing its way? It felt directionless without a compass-ionate friend!
The Grief Olympics
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Have you ever felt that people compete about who's suffering more? It's like the Grief Olympics out here. Oh, you lost your job? Well, I lost my favorite sock! It's not a competition, Karen. But if it were, my sock would win.
Ghost Therapy
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If ghosts really do exist, I bet half of them are just trying to find a good therapist. I've got 99 problems, and haunting is just one!
The Grief Diet
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You know, they say when you're grieving, you lose your appetite. Well, that explains why I've been binge-watching cooking shows. It's like I'm vicariously eating through Gordon Ramsay.
The Funeral Playlist
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You ever think about creating a playlist for a funeral? Something to lighten the mood? Like, start with Another One Bites the Dust, then maybe Staying Alive. Hey, if we're going down, let's at least have a soundtrack!
Ghosting, but for Real!
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You know, when someone's going through a tough time, they say they're ghosting everyone. I mean, that's next-level commitment to the theme. Most of us just ignore texts, but these folks? They've gone full Casper on us!
Hallmark’s Grief Cards
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Have you seen those Hallmark cards for grieving? Sorry for your loss. That's it? I want one that says, Sorry your life feels like a Netflix drama right now. Here's a coupon for ice cream.
The Mourning Workout
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Ever tried the mourning workout? It's simple. Lift memories, carry emotional baggage, and run away from feelings. Trust me, you'll break a sweat just trying to avoid that post-funeral casserole.
The Five Stages of Grief... or is it WiFi?
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You ever notice how when someone's suffering from loss, they go through these five stages of grief? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance? Sounds like my WiFi signal trying to connect on a bad day. One minute it's in denial, the next it's bargaining with the router, and by the end, I'm just depressed I can't stream my cat videos.
The Saddest Comedy Club
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Ever thought about starting a comedy club exclusively for people going through loss? Call it The Sob and Snicker. One minute you're laughing, the next, you're crying – but at least there's a two-drink minimum.
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