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You know, they say time heals all wounds, but has anyone ever tried telling that to a microwave? I mean, I've been staring at it for minutes, and my burrito is still frozen in grief.
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You ever try consoling someone who's grieving and accidentally say something that sounds like it came from a fortune cookie? "In the darkness, there's a glimmer of light." Thanks, Confucius. Can I get some practical advice, please?
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I tried attending a support group for people dealing with loss, but it turns out I was at the wrong meeting. I walked in, and they were discussing losing their car keys. I thought, "Am I the only one here who misplaced a loved one?
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Losing a loved one is tough, but have you ever lost your TV remote for an entire weekend? It's like a forced digital detox. I had to get up and change the channels manually. It was traumatic.
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I realized grieving is a lot like scrolling through social media. You see everyone else's seemingly perfect lives, and you can't help but wonder if they're using a different filter for their emotions. I need the Valencia filter for my heartache, please.
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I recently learned that grieving is a lot like trying to assemble IKEA furniture. You have all these confusing pieces, you're not sure where they fit, and in the end, you just hope it doesn't collapse on you when you're least expecting it.
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You ever notice that condolences are like the unsolicited advice of sympathy? "I'm sorry for your loss." Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious. Maybe next, you can tell me water is wet.
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Dealing with loss is like playing hide and seek with emotions. You think you've found them, but they're just really good at blending in with the curtains and making you look like a fool.
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I went to a therapist after a significant loss, and they asked me how I was feeling. I said, "Well, doc, if sadness were an Olympic sport, I'd be a gold medalist by now." They didn't seem impressed.
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