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Coffee shops are the kings of slogans. "Wake up and smell the coffee." How about, "Wake up and try not to spill the coffee all over yourself in the process." Now that's a morning challenge.
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Slogans for dating apps would be hilarious. "Tinder: Where swiping right is the closest thing to commitment you'll ever make." I can already see the billboard on that one!
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Has anyone thought about the pressure on pets? If dogs had a slogan, it would be "Life's a fetch, and then you nap." Cats, on the other hand, would just say, "Your move, human.
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Dating itself could have a slogan. "Dating: Where you learn to become a detective, a diplomat, and an escape artist all at once." It's like a crash course in life skills.
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You ever notice how every fast-food joint has a slogan that's like a motivational speaker for your taste buds? "Have it your way," they say. Well, my way involves not having it with extra pickles. Can we get a slogan for that?
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Supermarkets have slogans too, right? "The Fresh Food People." Really? I go in for apples, but I leave with a cart full of snacks. Maybe the slogan should be, "The Fresh Food... and Other Stuff People.
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Remember when car commercials used to focus on safety and reliability? Now it's like, "Feel the wind in your hair as you drive recklessly with our new Turbocharged Whatever!" Their slogan should be, "Safety first, but excitement slightly more.
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And finally, let's talk about motivational slogans on the back of trucks. "Keep on truckin'" they say. If I had a slogan for my commute, it would be "Keep on commuting... because teleportation isn't a thing yet.
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I've realized my life needs a slogan. Something like, "Living on the edge, but not too close to the edge because it's kind of scary over there.
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