18 Jokes For Simple Simon

Puns

Updated on: Jun 30 2024

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Simple Simon tried to make a belt out of watches. He said it was a waist of time!
Why did Simple Simon bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Simple Simon tried to catch a falling star. He missed and ended up with a meteor shower!
Simple Simon went to a seafood restaurant and asked for something fishy. They handed him the bill!
Why did Simple Simon bring a shovel to the comedy club? He wanted to dig the jokes!
Why did Simple Simon try to fix his computer with a hammer? Because he heard it had a bad byte!
Why did Simple Simon bring a suitcase to the grocery store? He wanted to pack his lunch!
Simple Simon tried to make a website. He said, 'I guess it's not as easy as Pi!

Simple Simon's Job Interview

You won't believe it! Simple Simon went for a job interview last week. He walked in, sat down, and the first thing he said to the interviewer was, Can I taste your ware? I don't think he understood he was applying for an accounting job, not auditioning for a baking show!

Simple Simon's Cooking Catastrophe

I went over to Simple Simon's house for dinner. He proudly served me a dish and said, I've made a fantastic pie! I took a bite and found it filled with live birds. Yeah, forget about singing for their supper; these birds were trying to fly for their supper!

Simple Simon's Standup Comedy

I heard Simple Simon tried his hand at stand-up comedy. He got up on stage and his opening line was, Simple Simon met a pie-man going to the fair... Let's just say, by the time he finished the nursery rhyme, the audience had already scheduled their nap time!

Simple Simon's DIY Disaster

So, Simple Simon decided to fix his own roof. He climbed up there with a bag of plums! Yeah, plums! He thought they'd help with the leaks! I'm telling you, his neighbors had a great time watching it rain fruit salad!

Simple Simon's Dating Woes

I heard Simple Simon joined a dating app. His profile said, Wanted: a girl who can follow me to the fair and back, asking if I'm willing to lend a penny. Needless to say, his match rate was lower than Humpty Dumpty's chances of staying on that wall!

Simple Simon's High-Stakes Poker

You know, I tried playing poker with Simple Simon once. That guy was so predictable, his poker face was just a blank stare. I could tell when he had a good hand because he'd start reciting nursery rhymes! The queen was in the parlor eating bread and honey... That's when I knew to fold!

Simple Simon's GPS Troubles

Simple Simon got a GPS for his birthday. But every time he asked for directions, it responded with, Simple Simon met a pieman... Let's just say he ended up finding the bakery instead of his friend's house!

Simple Simon's Gardening Adventure

Simon decided to plant a garden. But instead of seeds, he planted pies! He was out there every morning, singing, If you won't sing, I'll take you by the wing. Well, at least his garden attracted some very confused birds!

Simple Simon's Fitness Regimen

I heard Simple Simon started hitting the gym. His workout routine? Hilarious! He'd lift weights and every time he did a rep, he'd shout, I'm going to the fair, to see a fine lady! I don't know if he was getting stronger, but he definitely had the whole gym in stitches!

Simple Simon's Pet Parrot

Simple Simon got a parrot. He taught it to say, Says the joker to the thief. That parrot's now the neighborhood's gossip queen! Every time someone walks by, it's like a live commentary of everyone's secrets!

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