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The sheriff's car in a small town is basically a combination of a squad car and a mobile billboard for local garage sales and lost dog announcements. You've got to admire that efficiency.
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Being the sheriff in a small town must be like being a substitute teacher every day. You walk in, hope everyone behaves, and secretly pray there won't be any wild chases through the cornfields.
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Ever notice how the sheriff's office is the only place where the phrase "Let's get the heck out of Dodge" is both a figure of speech and an actual plan?
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It's impressive how the sheriff manages to maintain authority while also being the town's barbecue judge during the annual cook-off. That's multitasking at its finest.
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Small-town life summed up: the sheriff is the law, the mediator in neighborly disputes, and the hero who rescues cats stuck in trees. Move over, Batman!
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You know you're in a small town when the sheriff is also the local gossip channel. You don't need a police scanner; just follow the sheriff's Twitter feed.
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The only person in town busier than the mayor is the sheriff. One deals with paperwork, and the other deals with cow thefts. Guess whose job's more exciting?
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You can tell a small town's social hierarchy by who waves back at the sheriff when he drives by. It's like a local popularity contest with a badge.
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The sheriff in a small town probably knows more about everyone's business than their closest friends. Who needs social media when you have Sheriff Bookface keeping tabs on everyone?
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