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Sears Nostalgia Expert
Trying to explain to a younger generation what Sears used to be.
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I told my nephew about Sears, and he said, "Why didn't you just order stuff on your phone?" I chuckled and said, "Because our phones were attached to the wall with a cord, and the internet took longer to connect than it did to drive to the store!
Sears Catalog Time Traveler
Trying to explain online shopping to people in the past.
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I tried explaining Amazon Prime to my grandpa. I said, "You can get anything delivered in two days!" He stared at me and said, "Two days? Back in my day, if you wanted something fast, you went to Sears, and they'd throw it in your horse-drawn carriage right there!
Sears Mysteries
Trying to decipher the purpose of certain products at Sears.
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There was a product at Sears labeled "Universal Remote." I thought, "Great, I can control everything with this!" Turns out, it only works with devices from the '80s. I tried turning on my smart TV, and it just blinked at me like, "What is this sorcery?
Sears Survivor
The struggle of finding something useful in a nearly empty Sears.
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I asked a Sears employee where the power tools were, and he pointed to a lone hammer on a shelf. I said, "No, I meant like drills and saws." He looked around and said, "Oh, those are in the 'Hidden Treasures' section. Good luck finding them; it's like a scavenger hunt.
Sears Time Capsule
Wondering if the products are outdated or if you just traveled back in time.
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I bought a VCR at Sears, and the cashier said, "Enjoy your state-of-the-art technology!" I felt like I needed to clarify, "Is this new, or did you just dust it off from the '90s section?
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