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You know, I recently found myself in the middle of a heated argument. Yeah, a full-blown conflict. And you know what the battleground was? A ruler. Yeah, that's right, a simple ruler. Now, I don't know if you've ever experienced the high-stakes drama of a ruler dispute, but let me tell you, it's like the Cold War of stationary supplies. I was at the office, innocently measuring some documents, and then suddenly, my coworker Karen comes over with this smug look on her face. She goes, "Oh, is that your ruler?" I'm like, "Yeah, Karen, it is. What's the problem?" And she goes, "Well, it's just that my ruler is longer than yours."
Now, folks, I didn't know we were living in a ruler hierarchy. I thought we were all just trying to measure things and get on with our lives. But no, Karen had to turn it into a ruler showdown. I felt like I was in the middle of a medieval duel, only instead of swords, we had plastic rulers.
And you know, in the end, I had to save face. I said, "Karen, it's not about the size of the ruler; it's how you measure with it." But deep down, I knew I lost the ruler war that day. Lesson learned: always carry the longest ruler to assert dominance.
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Have you ever noticed that rulers are kind of like the fashion models of the stationary world? I mean, they come in all shapes and sizes, and there's always that one ruler that's so extra, it's practically wearing a glittery gown. I was shopping for a new ruler the other day, and I couldn't believe the variety. There are wooden rulers, plastic rulers, flexible rulers, rulers with cute little animals on them—you name it. I felt like I was at a ruler fashion show, and I was just trying to find the ruler that would make me look the most sophisticated at my desk.
And then there are those rulers with extra features, like built-in magnifying glasses or mini calculators. I mean, who needs a calculator on their ruler? Are we measuring the length of our work or trying to solve complex mathematical equations? It's like rulers are trying to multitask, and I'm just over here trying not to accidentally draw a crooked line.
But you know what they say: fashion is pain, and in the world of stationary, that pain comes in the form of ruler decisions.
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Let me tell you, rulers are not as straightforward as they seem. They're like the unsung heroes of the office supply world, quietly causing chaos in the background. Have you ever tried drawing a straight line with a ruler? It's like trying to negotiate world peace with a stubborn cat. I mean, rulers are supposed to give you a sense of control and precision, right? But every time I try to use one, it's like it has a mind of its own. I'm there, trying to draw a perfectly straight line, and the ruler decides to take a detour. It's like, "Oh, you wanted a straight line? How about a zigzag? You're welcome."
And don't even get me started on those tiny rulers. You know the ones I'm talking about—the ones that are so short, they're basically glorified bookmarks. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to make rulers that can't even rule, but they need to go back to stationary design school.
I think rulers are secretly messing with us, just sitting there on our desks, plotting their next move. They're like the puppet masters of the office, pulling the strings and laughing at our attempts to create order in a chaotic world.
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I've come to the realization that rulers are the silent rebels of the office. They pretend to be these obedient tools of measurement, but deep down, they have a rebellious spirit that can't be tamed. Have you ever tried to stack rulers together in a drawer? It's like they're playing a game of ruler Jenga, and the goal is to see how many rulers they can topple before you lose your sanity. I open my drawer, and rulers spill out like they're making a break for it. I can almost hear them whispering, "Freedom!"
And let's not forget the ruler conspiracy to disappear when you need them the most. You have a perfectly organized desk with rulers neatly in place, and the moment you need to measure something urgently, poof! They're gone. It's like rulers have a secret portal to another dimension where they party with missing socks and vanishing pens.
So, the next time you see a ruler innocently lying on your desk, just know that it's plotting its next act of rebellion. They might measure inches, but their rebellious spirit is immeasurable.
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