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Why did the retired mathematician become a musician? Because he wanted to improve his 'counting' skills!
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My grandpa just got a job at the bakery after retiring. Now he's making a lot of dough in his golden years!
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Why did the retiree become a comedian? Because he wanted to 'stand-up' for his right to relax!
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Why did the retiree become a magician? Because he wanted to 'disappear' from office life!
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Why did the retiree become a chef? Because he wanted to 'savor' every moment of his retirement!
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Why did the retiree start a gardening business? Because they wanted to experience some 'budding' retirement!
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Why did the retiree become a gardener? Because they wanted to 'grow' old in style!
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Retirement is like a long vacation, except you never get to post those envy-inducing beach pics because your entire life savings went into buying sunscreen for your bald head!
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They say the golden years are the best years of your life. Well, my gold seems to be rapidly turning into silver, and the only thing I'm 'best' at is finding the TV remote I misplaced three hours ago!
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They say you should retire and travel the world. Well, I'm practically a world traveler – I've been to the grocery store, the pharmacy, and occasionally, the backyard. Jet lag has never been so exhausting!
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Retirement is like a buffet – you're excited at first, but then you realize you've been staring at the mashed potatoes for an hour, contemplating the meaning of life. And people wonder why I'm not invited to buffets anymore!
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Retiring means you have more time for hobbies, like staring at the fridge and wondering why you opened it in the first place. It's a full-time job trying to remember what I'm doing!
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Retiring is like reaching the finish line of a marathon, only to realize it was a race against time, and time won. Now I'm just here at the finish line, catching my breath and wondering where the after-party is. Spoiler alert: it's in my living room, with a cup of chamomile tea!
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In retirement, you have all the time in the world to ponder life's big questions, like why do they call it 'getting your affairs in order'? As if I had any idea where I left my affairs in the first place!
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Retirement is like finally reaching the top of the mountain, only to realize you left your glasses at the bottom. Now I'm just squinting at the view, pretending I know what I'm looking at!
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Retirement is the only time in your life when you can say you're busy doing nothing, and people will nod in understanding, as if that's the most valid excuse for existence. I'm a professional do-nothing, thank you very much!
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