20 Jokes For Perv

Puns

Updated on: Mar 19 2025

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My cat started a band with other feline musicians. They call themselves 'The Purr-verts.
My GPS has a strange sense of humor. It told me to turn right and then said, 'Just kidding, go left. I'm feeling a bit perv-ersatile today.
Why did the bicycle blush? Because it was two-tired of being called a perv-sistent cycle!
I told my friend I could hear music coming from my printer. He said, 'That's just paper jamming out in the paper tray, being a real perv-former.
I asked the vegetable vendor why his cucumbers were blushing. He replied, 'They just heard the tomatoes talking about their perv-satility.
What's a coffee bean's favorite hobby? Bean a little perv-vasive and getting roasted!
Why did the comedian become a gardener? He wanted to work on his perv-ennial jokes!
Why did the smartphone get a restraining order? It couldn't stop being a little too perv-sistent.
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many perv-sonal issues!
What do you call a sneaky calendar? A perv-sistent date-changer!

Pervy Fortune Cookies

I went to a Chinese restaurant the other day, and I got this really weird fortune in my cookie. It said, Beware of the person sitting across from you; they might be a perv. I didn't know whether to be impressed by their clairvoyance or concerned about the people I hang out with.

The Perv-Proof Wardrobe

I've started investing in a perv-proof wardrobe. It's not a brand; it's a fashion philosophy. All my clothes are designed to repel perverts. You know you've succeeded when even the catcalls sound half-hearted.

Pervy Social Media Filters

I've decided to spice up my social media game. Now, every time I post a selfie, I use the 'Perv Block' filter. It blurs out anyone who looks at the photo with less-than-wholesome intentions. My grandma thinks it's just a bad camera.

Perv-Repellent Cologne

I've started wearing this new cologne. It's called 'Eau de Boundaries.' It repels pervs like citronella repels mosquitoes. The only drawback is that now I have a bunch of confused mosquitoes following me around.

The Perv Therapy App

I found this great therapy app that helps you deal with encounters with pervs. It's like Tinder but for finding a licensed therapist to discuss your latest creepy subway experience. Swipe right for mental health!

The Pervy Weather App

I downloaded this new weather app, and apparently, it gives you a heads-up about more than just rain or sunshine. Now it tells you the probability of running into a perv on your way to work. I never knew I needed to factor that into my morning commute.

The Perv GPS

You know, they say technology is advancing so fast. I recently got a new GPS system, but I think it's a bit too advanced. It doesn't just give directions; it also rates the perviness of each route. I mean, who needs a detour through Creepy Street, right?

Perv-Blocking Headphones

I've got these amazing headphones that not only cancel out noise but also block pervy comments. They're like a force field for your ears. Now, the only unsolicited things I hear are podcast ads.

The Perv Alarm Clock

My friend suggested I get a perv alarm clock. It wakes you up with the sound of disapproving clucks, reminding you that every second you spend in bed is another second lost in the fight against creepiness.

Perv Prevention Glasses

I've come up with a brilliant invention – Perv Prevention Glasses. They're like regular glasses, but they automatically pixelate anyone with sketchy intentions around you. Finally, I can see the world without seeing THAT guy leering at me.

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