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I was at the grocery store, and there's always that person who lingers in the produce section for way too long. You're just trying to grab some apples, and suddenly you're unintentionally auditioning for the lead role in "The Avocado Chronicles." Congrats, you're the supermarket-perv we never knew we needed.
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I was at the gym the other day, and there's always that one guy who thinks flexing in the mirror is a public service. Dude, we get it, you're into fitness. But seriously, take it down a notch. We're here for the weights, not a live show of "Flexing with the Stars." Total gym-perv move.
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Have you ever been on public transportation and noticed that one person who seems way too fascinated with the window? Like, we're passing regular buildings, not the set of a blockbuster movie. It's not a scenic tour, it's the city bus. Congratulations, you're officially a public transit-perv.
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Why is it that whenever you're at a coffee shop, someone always decides to stand right behind you, watching you type on your laptop? It's like they're expecting the next great novel to magically appear on your screen. Newsflash, buddy: it's just an email to my mom. No need to be a caffeinated peeping-tom.
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Ever notice how elevators have that one guy who insists on staring at the floor numbers as if he's decoding a secret message? Dude, we're all going to the same place - the office on the 8th floor. It's not a magic trick; it's just a ride. Elevator-perv, the unsung hero of mundane destinations.
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Have you ever been in a crowded elevator and noticed that one person who's practically breathing down your neck? Personal space? Never heard of it. Elevator-breather, the unsolicited masseuse of vertical transport.
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You ever notice how the word "perv" sounds like something your grandma would mispronounce? "Oh dear, I saw that man staring at the newspaper stand. He's a real 'purse' if you ask me!
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Why do people feel the need to look over your shoulder when you're using an ATM? Like, is my account balance suddenly their business? I don't need a financial advisor in the form of a nosy stranger. ATM-perv, making banking uncomfortable since forever.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new washing machine. It's like, "Check out the spin cycle on this baby!" It's the domestic-perv in all of us, living for the thrill of laundry day.
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